Little moments
by annieSL
Summary: A collection of japril drabbles.
1. career day

Japril's child's name comes from my story 'Something about you'. ;)

…

"Oh, you're here!" April said, when she finally found Jackson in the attending's lounge reading some paper work. She had spent the last ten minutes looking for him all over the hospital. "Are you ready?"

"Ready for what?" Jackson asked, lifting his head from the paper in front of him to look at his wife.

"Jackson!" April exclaimed, placing her hands on her hips and giving him a serious look. "Are you telling me you forgot?"

"Forgot…?"

"Career day!" She almost shouted in a pitched tone. "You forgot!"

"Hum, what?"

"Oh my gosh! You did. You forgot. I told you. I told you about this last week and you said you we're going." April continued, but she saw in Jackson's face that he was not following her. "It's career day at Ella's school today!"

"It's what?"

"Career day! Remember? We even talked about this over dinner last week."

Then, all of sudden, he remember. Ella, their six year old, told them they were having career day at her school. He remembered how excited she was about having her parents explaining her friends what it meant to be a surgeon and how he told April he was going. "Oh, I…"

"You forgot! You're supposed to be there in thirty minutes and you forgot?"

"I didn't forget, I just didn't know it was today." He lied, knowing he had completely forgotten about this.

"You have to go. Now!"

"I can't. I've got a meeting in fifteen minutes. I can't leave now."

"Oh but you will." She said, moving from where she was standing to reach for his hand. "Jackson, you agreed to this. You said you were going."

"Why can't you go instead?" He asked, when she made him stand up and almost dragged him to the door.

"I'm covering the pit today. I can't leave." April replied. "Plus, I drove Ella to school today and she was so excited about you going to her school to talk about being a doctor."

"Well I can't go. I have a meeting." Jackson stopped, making her stop as well, right before she reached the door.

"A meeting is more important than our daughter?" She said, crossing her arms around her chest and giving him a fulminating stare.

"Seriously? You can't do that." He retorted, frustrated at how she was staring at him, almost judging him. He would never make the hospital a priority. His family was his number one priority. "You can't make me feel guilty about this."

"You did forget about…"

"I didn't… I…" He cut her off, but decided there was no use in trying to explain himself anymore, since there was really no way he could do it. She was right and he did forget about the whole thing, but he had an important meeting he couldn't miss. "April, please. Can't you go?"

"No! You promised her. You're going. End of discussion."

"But…"

"And if you want to make it on time, you should be leaving now." She didn't let him say anything, but he frowned, shaking his head. "What's your problem?"

"There's no problem. I just have other responsibilities and I can't…"

"Yes, we all know you're superman around here… putting out all the fires, saving the hospital from chaos, but you're also a father." She said, stepping closer to him and placing her hands on his shoulders. "And your precious little girl is waiting for you to walk through the door and tell all her cute little friends how cool it is to save lives."

"You can do the same thing. You're a surgeon too, you know!"

"But you're her superman!" She pouted, trying to win the discussion. "And we decided that you were going and Ella was super excited about it. You don't want to disappoint your little girl, do you? I bet she spent the entire morning telling her friends you'd be there."

"Babe, I have so much work to do, I can't..." Jackson said, placing his hands on her waist and tilting his head back.

"And it's not that hard to tell a bunch of six year olds what it means to be a surgeon!" She went on, ignoring him. "Just don't go into detail or you'll traumatize the kids."

"I know that!"

"Plus, I think Ella's teacher has a crush on you!"

"What? No!" Jackson looked back at her and noticed the teasing look on her face.

"Oh, I've noticed the way she looks and talks to you. She almost drools every time you pick Ella up." She continued, knowing how uncomfortable he always got when she mentioned how other women behaved around him. "If you go, she might even give Ella a good grade."

"And you're not threatened by her?" He asked, trying to play her game. "She's kind of pretty, you know?"

April took a few seconds to think, but quickly enough said "Nope!"

"No?"

"No!" She said, shaking her head and holding her arms around his neck. "Ella doesn't need help to have a good grade. She's already so smart."

"She takes after you… _and your persistence_." Jackson said, in between teeth.

"And I know you're only saying that to get away from this." She pretended not to hear his last remark. "But you're not."

"And why is that?"

"Because I said so." She replied, in a firm tone. Then, she let go of his neck and turned around to reach for the door. "Now, get dressed, take your lab coat and your stethoscope - the kids are gonna love it – and go!"

Jackson quickly took her hand, making her stop and turned her around to face him again. "You're so sexy when you're bossy!" He whispered, placing his hands back on her waist.

"Well, if you're good today at Ella's school …" She told him, using her best seductive tone. "…I can tell you other places I like to be bossy too."

"Oh, you don't need to tell me." Jackson grinned and leaned down. "I already know!"

…


	2. the perfect picture

"Jackson, I'm not really comfortable with this." April said again, much to his despair.

He'd been trying to take a picture of her for the last twenty-five minutes without any success. He was holding the camera in his hand, ready to shoot, ready to get it done, but she kept interrupting him, saying she wasn't ready after all, how maybe she should change her position, how maybe her hair needed to be fixed or styled a different way. He knew she was just trying to avoid taking the picture, but now he was getting tired of her ramblings. "Can you please stop? Just stay still. I don't see what your problem is."

"Well, you're not the one naked right now." April replied, trying to cover her breasts with her hands the best she could. "Plus, I'm getting cold."

"If you stay still for a minute and let me do my job, then you can get dressed and this will be over."

"This is awkward."

"This is not awkward." Jackson said, rolling his eyes and putting the camera down for the thousandth time. "It's just me and you, April. Nobody else is here."

"But I feel awkward."

"Why are you acting like this is the first time I'm seeing you naked?"

"I'm not. I'm…" She shook her head and looked around their bedroom feeling a little too exposed. It was like someone was watching them, knowing what they were doing, like what they were doing was wrong. "I just don't feel comfortable taking pictures completely naked."

"April, c'mon." Jackson sighed, asking for some patience to deal with her insecurities from whoever was up there. "We talked about this and you agreed to it. You said you were excited about this yesterday."

"I know I did… and I was." She continued, crossing her arms even tighter. "But I also said it was going to be weird if anyone ever found this pictures or saw them."

"Nobody is ever going to see this pictures. They're just for you and I. For the both of us… to remember this moment. We're happy, you're pregnant, our baby is healthy… let's enjoy this moment in our lives and capture it with a picture."

"But why do I have to be naked?"

"Because you said you wanted to. Remember? You said you wanted to look just like Demi Moore in the cover of that magazine." He explained it to her again. It was her idea after all and he didn't even try to push her to do it. "Are you having second thoughts?"

"Maybe. No. I don't know."

"You don't wanna do it anymore. Fine! But we just spent the past fifteen minutes trying to get you out of the robe and now this."

"I'm sorry, okay? I'm just not feeling too comfortable standing naked -_ 8 months pregnant and naked_ - in front of a camera."

"Babe, c'mon! You look beautiful. You bump looks beautiful and the pictures will look beautiful as well. They're going to make a beautiful memory."

"You think?" She asked reluctantly. He had told her all those things before but she was having a hard time believing in him. At this point, she wasn't even trying to look sexy for the camera. She was just simply not feeling like herself at all. The changes in her body were significant and posing naked for a camera was harder than what she thought it would be. "You don't think I look_ too_ pregnant or _too_ swollen or _too_ fat?"

"No, of course not. You look gorgeous." Jackson reassured her again, trying not to rush her, but dying to get it done. "Now just relax. Take a deep breath."

April closed her eyes and followed his voice, taking a deep breath. She needed to relax. Plus, he was right. The pictures were going to make a beautiful memory. "Okay." She said, opening her eyes and looking at him. "I'm ready. Just do it!"

"Okay. I promise the pictures are gonna look beautiful." Jackson said, moving quickly back to his original position, afraid she would change her mind again.

"I just want something tasteful."

"I promise you they're going to look tasteful. Are you ready?"

"Yes."

"Good. Okay." Jackson looked through the lens. "Move your right hand up a little."

"Like this?" She asked, moving her right hand to cover her breasts as much as she could.

"Yes, just like that. The other one, place it on your belly." April moved her left hand placing it delicately under her big baby bump. "Now keep your back straight and smile."

Jackson took a few pictures and she eventually started to feel more comfortable in her skin and he could tell by the way she carried herself. She looked absolutely beautiful, glowing, the aura around her was vibrant. Pregnancy suited her like a glove and he couldn't be more pleased with the vision in front of him.


	3. Romeo & Juliet

**RATED M**

AU Japril smutty one shot - teachers, sex, maybe a desk..

…

She leaned against the wall with her arms crossed closely to her chest. What was she supposed to do other than wait? Wait and watch out for the kids as they danced the night away and had fun like normal teenagers do during their Prom night. Yes, here she was: dressed in her favorite strapless knee length green dress, her hair perfectly styled, her make-up right on point, watching as her students celebrated the end of yet another stage in their lives.

She didn't want to be here though. But someone had to watch over the kids and she was one of the chosen ones. Who better than everyone's favorite teacher to supervise Prom? No one, apparently. However, now standing here, thinking about how she never had a night like this, how she never attendant her own Prom, how she wished she could be just like Sasha Brown – one of her student and the crowned Prom queen – made her feel more ridiculous than she would ever admit.

Raising her eyes across the room, her stomach dropped to the floor. There he was, looking at her. He got caught staring at her and yet his eyes didn't move. No, he wanted her to know he was staring. He wanted her to know he was admiring her.

She wouldn't admit it, but every time he looked at her, she felt like a silly fifteen year old all over again. He was her crush. The History teacher, Jackson Avery, was her crush. But he seemed to be everybody else's crush. She could never stand a chance.

His eyes weren't moving, but she couldn't face him anymore. So, she moved hers instead, trying to pretend like she didn't know what he was doing. Sasha Brown was still dancing in the middle of the dance floor, wearing her crown on the top of her head. But she didn't care. She didn't care about Sasha Brown anymore. All she couldn't think of was his piercing eyes… his piercing green eyes staring at her.

She tried to spot him from the corner of her eyes, but she couldn't anymore. No, she couldn't. Simply because he started moving, walking across the crowd to meet her.

All the air she had in her lungs suddenly disappeared. What was he doing? She couldn't breathe. She had to leave the room or her knees would fail her and make her hit the ground.

Turning around and quickly making her way down the empty school corridors, she reached her class. The room was dark, but she didn't bother to turn on the light. She just needed to hide for a moment and remind herself she was not the shy, awkward teenage girl she once was. She was a woman now. A woman who could handle Jackson Avery and his piercing green eyes.

She moved to her desk and sat down on her chair, hiding her head with her hands and taking a deep breath. She had noticed the way he had been looking at her lately. Three months ago they talked for the first time. Two months ago they had lunch at the same table. A month ago she started having very vivid sweaty dreams about him. She realized he started looking at her with desire in his eyes the same month. And maybe it was all in her head. Maybe it wasn't. Maybe it was real and maybe that was the reason she caught him staring at her a few minutes ago.

"So, this is where you're hiding."

If she caught him a few minutes ago, then he was the one catching her now. She looked up and there he was, looking as handsome as ever, leaning against the door frame, hands in his pockets, legs crossed and a grin on his face.

"I'm not hiding." She lied, quickly standing up. "I'm just taking a moment… a break."

"You're not too fond of the idea of reminiscing about your own Prom experience."

"I never went to Prom." The words escaped from her mouth before she could even think about them.

"How come?"

She couldn't tell them she didn't have a date. She couldn't tell him no one cared enough to ask her to go to Prom. She couldn't tell him she wasn't the woman she was today. She couldn't tell him she was Duckie once and Duckie was not the kind of girl boys asked to go to Prom with. "I chose not to go." She said, knowing it was partly true, since it was her ultimate decision not to go by herself to Prom. "I stayed home."

"Home?"

"Yes, home." She replied, in a low shy tone. "Reading Romeo and Juliet instead."

"Hum, interesting choice." He said, standing and starting to take the first few steps towards her after closing the class room door behind him "Why?"

"Well, because any alternate universe seemed way better than mine at the time."

"Even the one where two teenage lovers die because of their love." He retorted, his eyes never leaving mine. "So tragic."

"Love can be tragic sometimes." She said, only able to see him through the bright moon light shining outside, filling the room through the windows. "Beautiful, heartbreaking, painful, breathtaking, but tragic… so tragic!"

"_Alas, that love, whose view is muffles still,  
><em>_Should, without eyes, see pathways to his will!"_

She couldn't believe her ears. He was actually quoting Shakespeare. She knew it those lines because she read them time and time again, memorizing them, fascinated by the way the author wrote the verses. "How? Why?" She asked, confused. She was an English teacher and he was not. How did he know all this? Why did he know all this? What was happening?

She was surprised, he could tell. He wasn't trying to impress her… or maybe he was. She seemed like the kind of woman who needed to be impressed. The type of girl he'd been trying to impress for the past few months. The type of girl he would die trying to impress, because she deserved it. So, without stopping, he continued walking towards her. His lips parted again and he went on.

"_Why then, O brawling love, O loving hate,  
><em>_O anything of nothing first created!  
><em>_O heavy lightness, serious vanity,  
><em>_Misshapen chaos of well-seeming forms!  
><em>_Feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire, sick health,  
><em>_Still-waking sleep, that is not what it is!  
><em>_This love feel I, that feel no love in this."_

She blinked, completely perplexed at his knowledge. She was not expecting that all. And then he spoke again.

"I've been reading Shakespeare myself, Miss Kepner."

"April. Call me April." She said, letting him know her name for the first time. Every time they spoke he called her Miss Kepner, as everyone else did.

"April." He repeated, nodding his head. He already knew her name. Of course he did. He knew everything we could know about her from observing her from a distance. "I like that name." He went on, stopping in the middle of the way and placing his hands on his pockets again. "It reminds me of spring… my favorite season. When the length of daylight rapidly increases and days become longer; when the weather starts getting warmer and people feel happier; when many flowering plants bloom and the air is somehow lighter; when love…" He took a small pause. "… when love fills the air and everyone feels it."

April found herself biting her lower lip. The words coming out of his mouth sounded so perfectly. His deep, low voice made such simple thing as describing the natural events occurring during spring and the month of April sound like an important secret she was supposed to keep. And love… love was truly everywhere and in everything during spring. He couldn't be more right about that. Shakespeare had the gift of describing love perfectly. So, she took a deep breath and said:

"_Love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs;  
><em>_Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes;  
><em>_Being vexed, a sea nourished with loving tears.  
><em>_What is it else? A madness most discreet,  
><em>_A choking gall, and a preserving sweet."_

He smiled. Loving every second of the little game they were starting to play. "Love. What a silly thing, don't you think?"

"Romeo and Juliet's love was silly indeed." She replied, as he slowly started walking again. "But love to be true love has to be silly. Otherwise what's its purpose?"

"Even carnal love?"

"Carnal love?"

"Yes, carnal love." He replied, standing in front of her, making her face him with her behind touching the desk. "Does it have to be silly to?"

She felt his presence near her and almost lost her senses. So, she placed her both hands on the desk, looking for some support. "Carnal love doesn't have to be silly. I guess it only has to be filled…" She stopped and he took a step closer to her. "…with desire."

Jackson licked his lips and took his hands from his pockets, placing them on the desk as well, on each side of her body, cornering her. "I noticed how beautiful you look tonight." He said, looking straight into her eyes. "You took my breath away the moment I spotted you across the room."

"Just tonight?" She playfully asked.

"No, of course not, but tonight…" He replied. "Tonight you look vibrant… radiant. The way your green dress projects the light… the way it hugs your body… the way it showcases all your perfect beautiful features"

"Are you trying to make me blush, Mr Avery?"

He shook his head, watching as her cheeks did in fact turned red. Then, he leaned forward and whispered in her ear.

"_Oh, she doth teach the torches to burn bright!  
><em>_It seems she hangs upon the cheek of night  
><em>_Like a rich jewel in an Ethiope's ear,  
><em>_Beauty too rich for use, for earth too dear.  
><em>_So shows a snowy dove trooping with crows  
><em>_As yonder lady o'er her fellows shows.  
><em>_The measure done, I'll watch her place of stand,  
><em>_And, touching hers, make blessèd my rude hand.  
><em>_Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight!  
><em>_For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night."_

"Jackson…" She whispered, feeling his warm breath against her ear and the cologne he wearing on her nose.

"_O, speak again, bright angel! For thou art  
><em>_As glorious to this night, being o'er my head,  
><em>_As in a winged messenger of heaven  
><em>_Unto the white, upturned wondering eyes  
><em>_Of mortals that fall back to gaze on him  
><em>_When he bestrides the lazy-puffing clouds  
><em>_And sails upon the boson of the air"_

She felt child up and down her spine. How could one man be so perfect and yet so unreachable for a reason? Or maybe he wasn't so unreachable at all. Maybe she had been the unreachable one all this time, making her shyness get in the way of whatever this was… or could be.

His mouth traveled from her ear to her neck, as he blew with his lips against it. Her mind was somewhere up in space by then. She completely lost it when he placed his hands on her waist and closed the space between them.

"We can't. We shouldn't." She said, thinking how she wanted to feel him closer badly.

"And why is that?" He asked, tilting his head towards her again.

"Because this is wrong. This should feel wrong." But it didn't feel wrong in any way. She wanted him right there. They shouldn't, they were in school and anyone could walk in any time.

"Forbidden love?" He teased her. "Is it what this is?"

"Carnal love." She replied, slowly opening her legs to let him position himself in front of her, with his groin touching hers. "Yes. Forbidden carnal love it's what this is."

"Well, then… let it be forbidden. It didn't work for Romeo and Juliet. Perhaps it can work for us."

"Perhaps it can."

Jackson touched the perfect curls of her hair and smiled, knowing she was into this too. He wasn't the only one desiring her. She wanted him too and she couldn't hide it any longer. So, he took one hand from her waist and grabbed her own hand, saying:

"_If I profane with my unworthiest hand  
><em>_This holy shrine, the gentle sin is this:  
><em>_My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand  
><em>_To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss."_

Her heart started beating fast on her chest and her mouth was suddenly dry. She forgot the exact words, the verses that Shakespeare wrote next. However, she knew how the scene proceeded. So, she decided to improvise. "By holding my hand you show polite devotion. After all, pilgrims touch the hands of statues of saints. Holding one palm against another is like a kiss."

Jackson kissed her hand and then went on. "Don't saints and pilgrims have lips too?"

April let her hands fall on his shoulders, moving them until she wrapped them around his neck." Yes, they have lips that they're supposed to pray with."

"Well then, saint, let lips do what hands do. I'm praying for you to kiss me. Please grant my prayer so my faith doesn't turn to despair."

"Saints don't move, even when they grant prayers."

"Then don't move." He said, placing his hands on her back. "I'll take my prayer." Then, he leaned forward and kissed her lips for the first time. It was a soft, quick and innocent kiss. Not as innocent as his own wished and desires though.

When their lips parted, April licked hers. Taking a moment to let it all sink in, she took a deep breath. They kissed. His flawless soft lips touched hers for the first time and they were all she thought they were and even more. Then he spoke again. "Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged."

"Then have my lips the sin that they have took."

"Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again." He quickly replied, kissing her lips again. This time more effusively, moving his hands from her back to her hips, pressing his body against hers.

She allowed him to open her mouth and let his tongue meet hers, moving with her, tasting her completely. She mumbles his name when she feels his hand on her thigh, slowly raising it to his hips. She follows his lead and in the next second, she's sitting on the desk, her legs spread to allow his body to fit right in. And she can feel him hard against her… she craved him even more for that.

Jackson broke the kiss to grab her hair with his right hand and tilt it back, letting his mouth trail over her neck. Then, he started sucking her soft skin, right under her ear, making her moan and hold on tighter to his neck. He licked her neck, sucking it occasionally, determined to leave a mark on her, determined to mark her and this moment the best way he could. His hands running up her thighs, making their way under the fabric of her dress, causing her body to tremble upon his touch.

"Jackson…" She moaned again, pinning her body against his, leaving all her inhibitions behind. If he was a sinner for kissing her lips, she was no better than him, because in the end, we're all sinners.

His hands traveled up her legs, reaching the panties. He never stopped kissing her neck and when he pressed his palm between her legs, she gasped for air, let her head fall back completely and, digging her nails into the back of his neck, she let out a loud "Oh gosh!"

She was wet. He could feel it through the fabric of her panties. She was so wet already. But he was not in a better position either, since his erection was started to get pressed against the zipper of his pants.

"April…" He whispered in her ear, feeling her hands travel from the back of his neck down his shoulders, resting on the first buttons of his shirt.

She tried to focus and unbuttons his shirt slowly, but the way he was touching her down there was proving to be a challenge. She couldn't focus. Not when his fingers pressed her center - her very sensitive center – the way there were pressing it, caressing it. So, instead of unbuttoning all the buttons of his shirt, she managed to take care of the first three, but then her hands moved to the button in his pants.

She almost read his mind and when the pressure against his pants became too much to bare she was about to free him. He stopped kissing her neck when he felt her hands working on his zipper and took a moment to close his eyes and enjoy the sudden sense of freedom she was giving him instead. "Take them off. Just take them off." He requested and she did just what he told her to do, pushing both his pants and his boxers down his legs.

She looked at his length and could not help but to open her mouth in surprise. He was extremely gifted. Then, April cupped his face and led him into her mouth again. Kissing him, discovering his taste and allowing him to discover her.

He was hungry for her, dying to feel even closer. All he wanted in that moment was to feel her, to be inside of her, to feel her tight walls around his cock. He never wanted anyone so desperately and the fact that he had been dreaming about being with her like this for the past month only made him want her more.

April knew this is not her normal behavior. She was acting in an impulse, her mind is not there, it's lost somewhere in between his words, the words he quoted from her favorite book. She's not being herself tonight, but not being herself never felt so good.

She took one hand off his face and wrapped it around his erection, making him groan with pleasure. Jackson felt his feet lose their ground and his stomach roll. He stopped kissing her again and let his head fall to her shoulder, feeling as her tiny gentle hand struck his erection.

That was it. That was the last straw. He needed her and he needed her now. So, without taking another minute to think, he grabbed the hem of her panties and slid them down her bum. Then, looking into her eyes he saw it… the desire, the need, the hunger. She didn't even let him kiss her again. Repositioning herself with her legs spread wide open, she let him enter her.

When he's completely inside of her, they look at each other. She bit her lip and placed her hands on his shoulders. He takes a moment to contemplate her. She was beautiful, but she was even more gorgeous when she looked like an animal ready to tear him down and devour him entirely.

When Jackson started moving inside of her, it didn't take long until she started moaning his name loudly. She closed her eyes, not being able to keep them open to observe him. It was too much, it felt too good, it felt too right. His perfect in every level – his member was long enough and thick enough to make her feel things she never expected to feel - and the way he kept thrusting into her, made her feel like she could reach heaven.

Jackson kept his eyes open, watching in delight as her breasts bounced up and down inside her dress. He wished he took the time to undress her properly, to see her body in all its glory. He wished he could free her breasts and suck them, playing with her hard nipples. 'Next time', he thinks to himself. 'Next time I'll do it.' It was a promise he was making to himself and he was determined to keep it. After tasting her like this there was no way he was going to let her go again. She was his now and the purple mark on her neck proved just that.

April moaned his name again and again, feeling his hard member inside of her, destroy her inside and fully fill her. She opened her eyes again and looked right into his own. They were wide open, intensely staring at her. "April…" He grunted, thrusting harder inside of her.

Jackson started moving faster. He knew he was not going to last long. Actually, he waited and lasted long enough. Before this moment, he touched himself thinking about her; thinking about shy, red-head he worked with. Almost every night he fantasized about her. And now she was here and he was here… inside of her.

April's head fell to the crook of his neck. She couldn't contain her breath anymore. She was about to explode and she knew he was about to explode too… explode inside of her. "Jackson… Jackson…" She said, almost shouting. Her hair fell to her face and she had to close her eyes. The next minute, she was in heaven.

He knew he took her there. Satisfied with himself, he followed her. All it took was a few more movements and then he reached it too. It was the biggest, most powerful orgasm of his life and he had Shakespeare to be thankful for.

"I…" She tried to form words, but her mind was completely blank. There was nothing she could do or say. Maybe this was carnal love. Maybe this was not even that. Maybe this was simply desire. Maybe this could be the start of something new.


	4. roadtrip

Japril and family go on a road trip to anywhere and things get crazy

…

She didn't know how they managed to do it, but they did it. They woke up the kids right on time, somehow managed to dress them without any of them throwing any tantrum and were able to put them in the car as they planned.

And now there they were, all of her four children, sitting peacefully in the airplane, behaving like April instructed them to.

April, on the other hand, couldn't be feel more anxious about this. It was going to be their first trip as a family. She still didn't know how they were going to survive the next seven days and even though they were behaving now, she knew from experience that in one second everything could change and the fighting, the crying, the pouting could begin.

However, Ella, their seven year old and oldest daughter, begged for this on her birthday and Jackson couldn't say no. He was determined to take his little girl to Disneyland as much as he was determined to give them everything and be everything his father wasn't.

She took a look at the seats next to her. Ella and Chloe were sitting together, sharing Jackson's Ipod – _the one they practically stole from him a while ago and filled with their favorite Selena Gomez songs_ – mumbling their own version of the lyrics. April smiled, knowing how excited her girls were about this trip and remembering how they spent the past two weeks talking about it non-stop.

Then she turned to watch Jackson, sitting on the other side, showing Jordan a book and her two year old son looking very curious at the pictures. His twin sister, Violet, was sitting on Jackson's lap, with her eyes closed, her head tucked in his shirt and a peaceful expression on her face. She looked so precious when she was sleeping.

April sighed and closed her eyes as well, taking a moment to breath before all the madness. They still had a 2 hour flight ahead of them and she knew that if she got at least ten minutes of peace, she'd be lucky. She'd better take what she could get.

…

When they finally landed, they rushed through the airport to get their bags. April had Ella and Chloe on each of her hands, a backpack on her back and her eyes on the people around them. Jackson was walking behind her, with both twins on his hands as well.

Everybody was passing by them, trying to walk faster, to get their business done and all the movement was starting to drive April crazy. It wasn't easy to move through the crowd with such an entourage. "Jackson, we've got to hurry. I don't like this."

"I'm trying, but they walk slowly, you know?" He replied, taking their two year olds by the hand, waking slowly and carefully so they wouldn't trip or fall.

"I know, but… can't you carry them or something?"

"Seriously? The both of them?" Jackson asked, but April quickly gave him a threatening look and he knew it was for the best if he followed what she said. "Uh… fine!"

"Mommy, are we going to Disneyland now?" Ella asked, looking up at her mom with a spark in her eyes.

"Yes, baby. We are." She replied, praying that they'd make it to the hotel fast. "We are. We just need to get our luggage and then we're going to Disneyland."

"Mommy?"

"Yes, Chloe?"

"Are we staying all together in one big room?"

"Mommy told you we are, baby. Don't worry about it. We're all staying in one big room." April replied, looking down at her five year old. She knew her daughter was afraid of the dark and of all the monsters hiding in the closet. "Plus, you've got Sparkles with you, right?"

Chloe held tighter to the teddy-bear she was carrying in her arm. "Yeah, I got Sparkles."

"If you get scared at night you hold on tight to Sparkles and you do what, baby?"

"I pray." She five year old replied. "I pray so God can fight the monsters away."

"You pray, that's right!" April said, turning her head slightly to Jackson, who was carrying the twins in his arms. "Are we almost there?"

"I think we are."

"Good!"

"We still need to get our luggage."

"I know that!" Jackson said, trying to not to lose his breath as he carried his two kids and their own backpacks.

"Mommy, I need to pee."

April turned to Ella, shaking her head and rolling her eyes, thinking how she saw that coming the moment she left the airplane. "Can you hold on for a minute, honey?"

"Okay." Ella nodded, but before she could say anything else, Chloe also asked to go to the bathroom.

"Jackson, hurry! We need to hurry!"

.

A few minutes later they reached the baggage claim area, but they still had to wait for their bags. That was when Ella started pushing April's shirt, insisting she need to pee.

"But mommy, I can't hold it any longer!"

"I know, but…"

"I need to pee!"

"Ella, I know, but we have to wait for the…"

"But mommy!"

"Just take them to the bathroom." Jackson said, putting Jordan down on the floor, since his arms were starting to fail. "We might be here a while, just take them."

She took a deep breath, praying for some patience. "Fine!" April finally agreed. Then she turned to Ella and took her hand. "We're going to the bathroom. Let's go."

"Me too, mommy!" Chloe said, taking her hand as well.

"We're going to the bathroom. Watch out for the bags and I'm taking j…"

"Mommy!" Ella insisted, almost making April lose her temper.

"Ella! Wait!"

"Just go…" Jackson said, watching as Ella pushed April's hand to make her walk. She nodded and started walking with both girls by the hand. Then Jackson turned around and focused his attention on the bags. "Let's see if we don't lose our bags, Vi!" He said, smiling to the little girl in his arms.

.

Ten minutes later April came back and the girls ran in front of her to Jackson, who was starting to take the bags as best as he could from the rolling mat, since he still had Violet in his hip.

"You need help?" She asked, when she reached him. He nodded and gave her Violet, turning back to catch another bag.

April looked around and noticed that something was missing, something wasn't right. 'One, Two, Three…' She counted in her head, looking at her children. Then, all of sudden, panic. "Jackson…Jackson, where's Jordan?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Jordan, he's not here. Where is he?"

"What do you mean he's not here?" Jackson asked, putting the bag down and looking at her with a confused look. "He went with you to the bathroom."

"Hum, no! No, he didn't!" She could actually feel jumping inside her chest. "I didn't take him with me. He stayed with you."

"No, when you went to the bathroom you said you were taking Jordan as well."

"No, I said I was taking just a second. Jackson, where's my baby?"

"Alright, don't panic!" He replied, trying not to panic as well. "I thought… I thought he was with you."

"Did you see me walking him to the bathroom?" She almost shouted, losing it at once. "NO! I thought you had him. Oh Gosh…where's my baby?"

"Okay… okay!" It was a misunderstanding. He honestly thought she had him and now… now all he could think about was that he lost their baby. "He can't be far. He's two… he must be around here…he…"

"Jordan?" April shouted, looking around, trying to spot his tiny frame in the crowd. "Jackson? Do something!"

"Hum… okay, you stay with the girls, I'm gonna go look for him!"

"I'm not going to wait here. We lost our baby…Oh Lord, we lost our baby!" She noticed how her knees started to tremble and her hands started to shake. "We lost our baby. I'm going to look for him and call the police."

"Calm down! Alright? Don't panic!"

"DON'T PANIC?" She yelled at him again. "My two year old is lost in the middle of the airport and I'm not supposed to panic?"

"April, can you please calm down? I don't need you having a meltdown right now. Stay here. I'm gonna go look for him!"

April took a deep breath and quickly grabbed Chloe's hand, telling her to hold Ella's hand and don't let go. Her heart was racing and she felt a vacuum inside of her stomach. She lost her boy… they lost her boy and this trip couldn't have had a worse start.

"Mommy, what happened?"

"Hum?" She looked down to her sweet daughter's face. "Nothing, sweetheart. Daddy went looking for Jordan. They'll be back really soon. Okay? They'll be back." April replied, trying to dismiss the situation so they didn't get scared.

"But where did he go?"

"Jordan? Well, he went… He…" She didn't know what to say, since she didn't even know where he went. He was two. Where would he go? "You know what? Why don't we wait for him and he'll tell us."

She was about to have a heart attack and Jackson seemed to be taking way too long to come back. There was no sign of her son anywhere near and she was losing it. How could this happen? What kind of mother was she to let this happen?

Jackson eventually came back, but nothing. "I can't see him… I can't find him. I looked everywhere and I can't find him."

"We need to go to the security and …" She didn't have time to finish her sentence when an alarm sound echoed through the space. Then, at least ten security guards started running towards a backdoor. Both Jackson and April looked at the scene completely mortified. They knew it, they felt it inside. Something happened with their son… this was all about their son.

Without taking a second longer, April handed Violet to Jackson, grabbed the girls' hands and started running with all she had, leaving the luggage behind. Her only concern right now was her son.

When they reached the crowd, she heard a cry. A loud and scared loud. "Jordan?" She shouted, pushing a bunch of security guards to the side to be able to see him. "Jordan?"

'Ma'am, I'm gonna need you to stop right here." A security guard stopped her just as she started to spot the top of her child's head.

"What? But that's my son."

"There was a major breach in security and we need to…"

"Can't you hear me? That's my son." She replied. "That's my son and I need to get him."

"You're gonna need to stay here while we try to understand what's happening."

"Nothing's happening… My son is there, _crying, _and you'll excuse me, but…"

"This is a matter of national security. That little boy somehow managed to break through security and enter a private room. We need to evaluate the situation."

"What's there to evaluate?" Jackson asked, astonished with this man's persistence. "He's two. I'm pretty sure my two year old is not a threat to national security!"

"You know what?" April said, letting go of the girl's hands. "You're gonna have to let me in."

"I'm sorry, but I can't…"

"NOW!" She pushed the man to the side with all the strength she had and ran towards her son. No one could stop her.

She held her son and he placed his tiny little arms around her neck, crying hysterically. "It's okay, baby. It's okay. Mommy's here, baby. You're okay."

"Ma'am, is this your son?" An officer asked.

"Of course this is my son. He got lost in the airport. He's two! He's not a threat to your crappy security system."

"Then how do you explain what happened?"

"I told you. He got lost. We're here as family… we're taking our kids to Disneyland." She said, pointing to the rest of her family. "Then somehow my son got lost. We looked for him all over the place until you mistaken him for a national security threat."

"Your son did enter private…"

"My son is two, he obviously didn't know where he was walking into." She turned to Jordan and rubbed his back. He was still crying. "Mommy's here, honey. Mommy's here."

"We still need to talk to you, Ma'am." The officer continued. "We take these kinds of threats very seriously."

"This was not a threat, for goodness sake!"

"But..."

"Are you seriously mistaking my son for a terrorist? Seriously?" April took a deep breath and held Jordan tighter against her chest. "Look, I'm here with my family…with my husband and my four children. An accident happened. I took the girls to the bathroom and my husband thought I was taking Jordan with me, while I thought he was staying with my husband. It was a misunderstanding and your little mystery is obviously solved. So, can you please let us go now?"

"You should obviously take better care of your children!"

April gave him a fake smile, followed by a fake laughter. But her expression suddenly changed and a serious look appeared on her face. "Look, Mr…" She said, before giving him the most threatening look she had ever given anybody. "When you are a woman, juggling being a surgeon, a wife, a good mother... travelling to another state with four small children, dealing with their needs and tantrums and pouting and everything in between…then, when that time comes you get to talk to me about being more careful with my children." The man looked at her speechless. "Now excuse me. My kids are hungry and tired and all I want to do right now is take my son with me, calm him down and have fun on my vacation."

With that she turned around, kissing the top of her son's head, thinking this trip could not have had a crazier start.


	5. morning sickness

A one shot of some japril pregnancy fluff?

Inspired by April's "tweets".

Hope you like it!

…

Jackson opened the door and walked in as fast as he could. He knew April was already home, since she texted him saying she had to leave work sooner. He couldn't help but to feel worried about her. The news about her severe morning sickness spread fast across the hospital, especially after what happened earlier today.

The house was dark and silent. The only light was coming from their bedroom. When he approached the room, he saw her lying in the bed, on top of the cover, wearing her pajamas, with her eyes closed.

For a moment he thought she was sleeping, but she felt his presence, she opened her eyes and greeted him with a weak smile.

"Hi!" Jackson said, reaching for her, climbing in the bed to kiss her forehead.

"Hey. You're home." She said, watching as he positioned himself by her side, with his body half turned to hers.

"I left the hospital as soon as I could." Jackson noticed how her lips looked dry and her face was pale, how tired her eyes seemed tired and how her voice was weak. She looked sick, but the truth was she didn't just looked sick. She was sick. "How are you feeling?"

"Better now, but I've been feeling nauseous all day."

"I know. I'm sorry, babe." He said, putting a lock of her messy hair behind her ear. He hated seeing her like this and not being able to help her. There was nothing he could do, but to be there for her when she needed him to hold her hair while she stood on the bathroom floor, or rub her back to try make her feel better. But other than that, there was nothing he could do and it killed him inside.

"And I'm so embarrassed. I actually threw up in the middle of the ER today." April said, rolling her eyes, trying to shake the memories of that mortifying moment off her mind. "Everybody saw it and it was so embarrassing."

"How did that happen?"

"I don't know. I told you I woke up feeling a little nauseous this morning, but then the blood, the smells around me, the poor patient with her open wound… everything made me feel sick and I tried to fight it, but it happened…I couldn't even reach the bathroom. I threw up in the middle of the floor and it was so embarrassing."

"It's okay, honey."

"Well, it's still embarrassing." She could feel her cheeks become red again as she thought about what happened. How everybody's eyes fell on her; how everybody stopped doing what they were doing to watch that scene; how no one moved to help for the first couple minutes. "After that, Hunt sent me home. I tried to tell him I was fine, I could do my work, but the truth was I couldn't even keep it together. I still don't know how I made it home without throwing up on the passenger sit."

"I was in surgery, but you should've told me. I would've driven you home."

April rolled over and hit the back against the mattress, placing one arm over her face, probably trying to hide her shame and embarrassment from him. "Why me? Why did it have to happen to me?"

"It could happen to anybody." He tried to calm her down, but he knew there was nothing he could say to make her feel better about this. "I'm sure people understood what happened. Plus, all I care about is if you're feeling better now."

"I am. I'm just tired." She replied, showing her face again. "I swear I love our baby, Jackson, but this morning sickness thing has got to stop. I feel miserable."

"I'm sorry there's nothing I can do." Jackson said, placing one hand on her small belly. Feeling bad about not being able to take away her pain. "Only this little bug in here can help. You heard that, bug?" He placed his mouth closer to her stomach and kept talking. "You're making mommy feel miserable. Mommy needs you to be a good baby and stop making her feel sick. Now we all know this is not exactly your fault either, but it would be very nice if you could help mommy out with this whole morning sickness thing." When he felt April's hand caressing the top of his head, he looked up and noticed the smile on her lips. "What?"

"Nothing. It's just…" She took a deep breath and shrugged her shoulder. "It's the first time you're calling me mommy. I'm going to be a mommy … and that makes me really happy."

"You're going to be such a good mom. Kind, gently, loving and caring." Jackson went on, moving his hand up and down her stomach. "The best mommy ever."

"You think?"

"I do!" He replied, looking at her but quickly turning his attention back to her small bump "And this little bug here is so lucky to have you as mommy."

"Thank you, honey. You're going to be an amazing dad too."

"And our baby is going to be an awesome kid!" Jackson continued, slowly rolling up her shirt. "Can you believe it?" He asked, looking at her bare skin and at the small baby bump she was already carrying. "We made this. We created such a precious little thing. A tiny human is inside of you right now."

"It's such a miracle." April said, looking down at her stomach as well. "Look at that… it's growing."

"It is. It looks so adorable. In a few weeks your bump is going to get bigger."

"I'm going to start showing."

"I can't wait to see you showing." Jackson said, placing a couple soft kisses on her skin. "I can't wait to see our baby growing inside of you and you becoming bigger every day." He went on, kissing her bump again and again. "And the baby kicking and…"

"Jackson…" She giggled, feeling the hardness of his beard scratch her soft skin.

He stopped and placed one last kiss on her bump. "I love you, baby! I love you so much already." Then Jackson looked up at her and with a smile on his face he said "And I love you."

April made him come up and kissed his lips. "I love you too." Then, she leaned against him, feeling the strength of his arms around her and a sudden sense of peace inside of her. She knew that despite all the pain and the sickness, she was going to be alright.

…


	6. perfect sunday morning

A oneshot about sweet Japril sunday morning in their home.

...

Jackson slowly opened his eyes and turned around, hitting his back against the mattress. April was still sound asleep by his side, her face turned to his body, her own body curled like a ball. She looked peaceful sleeping. They had been married for a month now. And yes, they were still discovering things about themselves and their sleeping habits and of course, their morning habits. Jackson soon discovered that on Sundays, unlike the other days of the week, she liked to sleep in.

Staring at her and at how serene the looked sleeping, he decided to get out of bed without waking her up.

However, as soon as he started lifting up the covers, he felt an arm reach him and stop him from leaving.

"Where do you think you're going?" April asked, in a sleepy tone.

Jackson smiled and went back to his original position. "Good-morning to you too!" He said, planting a kiss on her temple.

"You're not allowed to leave this bed, you know?!" April didn't even bother to open her eyes. Instead, she moved her body, placing one hand on his chest and her head on his shoulder.

"I was going to make breakfast." Jackson informed her, placing one arm behind her head, allowing her to come closer to him. "I was planning on bring you some coffee… some toasts."

"I don't want coffee. I want you and you're not leaving this bed until I say so." April went on, mumbling with her mouth against the side of his chest. "Today is Sunday. We don't have to wake up early, or go to work, or leave this bed…we're not leaving this bed!"

"Okay." Jackson let out a small sigh and closed his eyes as well.

"Don't you just love Sundays? We don't have to rush or worry. We can lie in bed all day long if we want to and cuddle." April continued, moving her head to feel his heart beat against his chest. "We spend so much time thinking about what's coming up next, about life, about work. On Sundays we don't have to think about those things at all. Sundays are for me and you."

"Yeah." He agreed, knowing she had him right on the spot. There was no way he was going to leave that bed now… nor did he want to. "I do love Sundays."

"And Sunday mornings are made to stay in bed and cuddle. We're cuddling now. Coffee can wait."

"Sure. Coffee can wait!"

"Don't you just love these kind of Sunday mornings? I love them… when it's raining outside and we can just lie in bed and hear the raindrops hitting the window." She said, thinking about the fact that being with him like that always made her feel at ease. How there was no other place she would rather be. How time seemed to stop. How life seemed easier and problems were far behind her.

"I do." He agreed again, smiling when he felt his wife rest her leg in the middle of his and make space between his feet for her own.

"And it's warm under the covers, we can relax and take a moment to stand still and enjoy ourselves."

"Yeah." Jackson nodded, moving one hand to the back of her head so he could touch her tangled hair and play with it. "Kinda makes you wish every day was Sunday."

"I wish every day was Sunday."

"No worries, no stress, no hospital, no dealing with people. Sundays…" He said, letting his fingers roll down a piece of her hair. "Sundays are for me and you."

"Sundays are for us."

"Plus, on Sundays I get to spend the whole day kissing you."

"Oh I love that." She said, burying her face on his shirt, smelling his own personal scent through it.

"And holding you."

"I love that too."

"But you know what I love the most about Sunday mornings?" Jackson asked, opening his eyes to look down at her. She still had hers tightly closed, her face buried in his shirt and her body completely glued to his.

"Hum… no."

"Waking up and seeing you sleeping next to me. Seeing how cute you look when you're waking up."

"I don't look cute when I'm waking up. You're lying."

"I'm not." He said. "I love how your hair is all messy and how you don't even open your eyes for the first few minutes after you wake up. How you make your way to me and how you place your arms around me and try to snuggle." She slowly opened her eyes and looked up at him, trying to hide the huge grin on her lips. He knew her better than anybody else. He knew her every little routine. Her every little secret. Every trace of her morning personality. He knew her so well. It was like he had been studying her in secret, while she slept, while he pretended to be sleeping next to her. "How you put your leg right in between mine and how you insist on sleeping without socks, causing your feet to be cold like stone in the morning."

"Are you complaining about my cold feet?"

"No! But you have a tendency of searching for mine to warm yours."

"Hey! I don't do that!"

"You do! But it's okay, because I don't mind."

"You do have warm feet."

"I know!"

"You're a very warm person altogether." She retorted, loving feeling the heat coming from his body. It felt so good to sleep in the same bed as him, to fall asleep in his arms and to wake up searching for them. Only a month ago things were so different. They weren't even together a month ago. And now? Now life was perfect. Her morning were perfect. Her Sunday mornings were the best. "You know what? I can't even remember how my Sunday mornings went by when we weren't married. Or maybe I don't want to remember. They weren't fun!" April said, moving her fingers to play with the fabric of his shirt. "And I honestly don't know what I would do if I woke up and you were not around."

"You don't have to worry about that anymore. I'm going to be here, with you, every Sunday, for the rest of your life."

April smiled, thinking she didn't mind at all waking up like this for the rest of her life. "You have no idea how good that sounds."

"Well, all I know is…" He said, resting his hand on her cheek and caressing it softly. "You're my perfect Sunday morning."

She was his perfect Sunday morning… whatever that meant.

…


	7. jealous

**Strong language**

...

1 am. 1 am and he still wasn't home. 1 am and she couldn't sleep. 1 am and all she could think about was the fact he was not home yet… again.

He texted her earlier that night, telling her he was probably going to be late for dinner because he was stuck in a long surgery. She'd believe him if this wasn't the first time he made this sort of excuses. She knew it was an excuse. He wasn't really working.

She gave up from trying to sleep and sat up on the bed she loved sharing with her husband. Looking at the nightstand, she spotted her wedding ring. Their ten year anniversary was only a couple months away. Ten years that went by flying. She wished she could start it and do it all over again.

She left her ring on the nightstand and picked her phone instead. She would call him if she had the guts to do it. But no. She wasn't going to. What if he wasn't working? What if someone else answered the phone for him? What if that someone else was a woman? No. She was not going to call him. She was decided not turn into the desperate suspicious wife she was becoming. So, she put the phone down again and stood up.

"Where the hell are you?" She said out loud, being haunted by the same scary thoughts she had been having lately. She didn't know what to believe anymore. She wanted to believe in him, but at the same time… she couldn't.

She hated feeling this way. She hated his lies and his covers. She hated being the kind of person who thinks her husband could cheat.

But what if he was the kind of man who could cheat? They did run into his ex two weeks ago. What if that meeting sparkled some sort of long lost feelings?

She walked mindlessly towards the closet and opened the door, turning on the light. What if she was the problem? She wasn't the same. Her body wasn't the same. What if he was trying to find comfort in another woman's arms because of the changes in her body? She was a mother now. A mother of four. Her body was definitely not the same. Things were not as they used to be.

April raised her eyes to the mirror on the wall. Running her hands up her thighs, placing them in her waist she realized that no… she couldn't be the problem. Things were different and her body was different, but she was still an attractive woman. She looked good. She didn't lose it at all. And for a mother of four, she couldn't be more proud of her body, of her curves, of her flaws. Plus, he never complained about her body. He always told her he loved her body and complimented her every curve… especially when they were making love.

Yes, they still made love. Love. Not sex. Love.

In that moment, she hated him for that… for making good love to her. She hated them for making good love to each other. She hated it simply due to the fact that it made her even more confused about the long nights he stayed away from home. If he was getting it at home, why was he looking for it elsewhere also? It didn't make any sense.

She took a few steps into the closet and grabbed the jacket he was wearing the day before. Taking it off from the hanger, she held it close against her nose. She could almost swear she could feel the traces of a woman's worn out perfume. He took a long time to get home yesterday as well. Maybe he was with her… with this mystery woman she couldn't stop thinking about.

She put the jacket down, letting it fall on the floor. It was her imagination. There was no perfume in that jacket. What she smelled was probably the scent of his own cologne and she couldn't let her mind play tricks on her.

She knew she couldn't keep living like this. It was too painful. But she swore to herself and to God she was not going to break her promise. Yes, her marriage was a promise she intended to keep and she decided the day they got married she was never going to break her promise. She was not going to let her unfounded suspicions ruin everything and end her marriage.

Then, suddenly, she heard his footsteps going up the stairs. The house was so silent she could almost hear his breath. So, she walked back out of the closet and sat on the edge of the bed.

When he entered the room, he was caught by surprise. "Hi." He said, not expecting to see her up waiting for him.

"You're home. Finally." April said, watching as he started taking off his shoes and his old grey sweatshirt.

"Yes. It was a long surgery." He turned his back to her and walked into the bathroom.

If he was lying, he was trying his best to keep his lie. Turning his shame away from her, hiding in the bathroom, repeating his excuses… she knew it was all part of his act. But she also knew she was not letting him get away with it yet again.

Standing up from the bed, she followed him. "Stop it." He was already washing up his face, probably trying to wash away his own guilt. "Stop lying to me. I can't take it anymore."

He raised his wet face, opening his eyes, and looked at her through the mirror. "What?"

"Stop it." She repeated loudly. "Stop lying and tell me where you really were?" He grabbed a towel and cleaned his face, taking his time, perhaps trying to gain time to make up another excuse. "Can't you hear me? Where were you?"

"Are you insane?" He asked, raising his tone as well. "What do you mean 'where were you'? I was at the hospital."

"Were you? Really? Because you've been having way too many surgeries and meetings and work lately."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You know damn right what that's supposed to mean." She replied, turning his back on him. The anger in her voice could not disguise the hurt.

He walked right behind her, grabbing wrist, making her stop and face him. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"You know what, Jackson? I wish that you were me. Sometimes I wish that you were me." She said, freeing her hand. "I wish that you were me so you could feel this feeling. So you could stop thinking about you for a minute and think about me instead."

"About you?"

"About me… home alone at night, while you are God knows where, doing God knows what." She was almost yelling, letting all the repressed doubts and fears come to the surface. "I can't survive like this. I can't do it anymore."

"I've got work to do. I'm the head of that hospital, I'm…"

"You're my husband, in case you've forgotten." She said, in a high pitched tone. "And while you stay away at night, here I am… looking after your kids, being the good housewife that I am, wondering where the hell my husband is. So where are you when you're not home?"

He shook his head, completely taken aback from her words, not understanding where all of this was coming from.

Since he didn't reply, she decided to go on. Crossing her arms against her chest, she looked at him and let the words – the words she never thought she'd ever say- come out of her mouth. "Now the real question is… Is she good? Is she better than me?"

"What?" He asked, still not completely sure if this was reality or a really bad dream. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about her… the one you've been spending your evenings with. Is it good? The sex… is it good?"

Jackson felt like a shot was fired over him. Like his lungs were losing all the air they still had left. What the hell was happening? What the hell was going on? What the hell was she talking about?

"What do you think about while you _fuck_ her?" She asked, almost shouting again. The harshness in her words was something she was not able to control at this point. "Do you think about your wife when you_ fuck_ her?"

"April, stop saying that." He wanted her to stop. He didn't want to hear those kind of words come out of her mouth. He could never _fuck_ another person. "You're acting insane."

She didn't care what he had to say. "Does she scream your name like I do? Does she beg you not to stop like I do? Does she ride you or goes down on you like I do? Do you grab her hair and yell her name like you yell mine when you're reaching your orgasm? Do you suck her breasts like you suck mine? Are hers bigger than mine? Fuller?" She was throwing all these questions in the air without giving him time to explain. She didn't want his empty explanations. She just wanted to let him know she had him all figured out and there was nothing he could do or say to change her mind. "How do you feel when she screams your name in pleasure? Proud? Do you feel proud, Jackson, that you're giving her all that when you're cheating on your wife?"

"April, keep your voice down or you're gonna wake up the kids."

"What does she do to you that I don't?" She cut him off, feeling a rush of adrenaline run through her skin. "Tell me, Jackson. Tell me… she _fucks_ you faster, she _fucks_ you harder than…"

"Stop it." He shouted, raising his voice over hers, grabbing her arms and shaking her whole frame, trying to make her stop saying those non-senses. "There is no one else. I'm not lying to you. So stop saying I'm _fucking_ someone else when for the past ten years the only person I've been _fucking _is you."

She took a deep breath, feeling the walls of her throat close. She was about to cry, but she didn't want to cry in front of him. Not like this. But after all the hurt was still there. She was angry, but she was hurt too.

"Stop acting like a crazy person." Jackson continued, looking deeply into her eyes, trying to put some sense into her. "Stop saying I'm _fucking_ another woman. I'm not. So whatever is making you think that I am, make it stop. I would never cheat on you and you should know that by now."

She cleared her throat and fought back the tears, trying to find the courage to go on. "Why should I believe you?"

"I've been working long hours and I know that I shouldn't leave you alone at night, but I'm not _fucking_ anyone."

"But…"

"But I make mistakes. I'm sorry I've working too much. I'm sorry you've been feeling this way." "But stop it. I don't know what has gotten into you, but for the last time… I'm not cheating on you. I'm not sleeping with someone else."

"You're not?" She asked, almost as if she still didn't know what to believe.

"Fuck it!" He said, giving up, letting her go, almost pushing her back and turning his around to go to the bathroom again. She wasn't listening and he was getting tired of it. How could she still doubt him?

"I'm just human. I know that I'm being hateful, but…" April shouted, watching him walk away. "I'm just human."

It was true. She was only a human and maybe she was jealous for no reason. But she couldn't help herself. Long lonely nights made her occupy her mind with these insane thoughts.

"I never made anything to make you doubt me… or to make you think I'm cheating on you. I've been nothing but a loyal husband to you and I plan on being one until the day we die." He said, raising his voice while turning around to face her again. "Do you have any idea how you thinking I'm cheating on you hurts me?"

"I'm just…"

"You…April, I never failed you. I never failed you, either in life or in bed. Why would I go out looking for sex when the only person I want to have sex with is you?"

His words hit her like a rock. He was right and she was overreacting. How could she think that? How could she let her mind go this far and make these accusations? Now looking at his angry eyes and red face she regretted it. "I'm sorry. Alright? I'm sorry. I'm only…"

"Human, I know." He completed her sentence and moved again, sick of listening her speak. However, he felt her hand grab his arm and pull him back, making him stop.

"C'mon, Jackson."

"Let go."

"Jackson…"

"Let me go!" He said, using unnecessary force to free himself.

She froze and stopped trying to reach him. "Don't judge me." She simply said in a low tone. Her sad eyes falling to the ground, too ashamed to face his.

He looked at her and felt bad. Perhaps she had every reason to doubt him, to think he was cheating, to feel lonely. But he wanted her. She was the only one for him and there was no doubt in his mind that he was going to feel that way forever. She was his April, his wife, his best friend, his lover. "April…" He said, taking two steps closer and placing one hand under her chin. "Look at me."

She looked up reluctantly. He could see in her eyes a mix of sadness and anger. And despite his own fury, he wanted to prove her she was the only one he wanted. She was breathing hard, probably decompressing from all the yelling and the fighting.

Jackson moved his hands to her waist, looking directly into her eyes, too afraid of losing contact. Then, he pulled her closer, making her take a step towards him and pin herself against his body.

The type of intensity she was carrying in her eyes was something he rarely saw. They were sparkling, but not in a good way and he knew it. She was mad at him. She was furious. She was all that and more. She was a ball of mixed feelings, but again so was he.

His hands slowly fell to her thighs and in an instant he lifted her off the ground. She didn't say a word, but he knew it was okay when she placed her arms around his neck. They both knew what all the fighting usually led to and they were both craving it now. So, Jackson carefully carried her to the bed, where he deposited her, lying on top of her after that.

He took a second to watch her expression and try to remember the acts she accused him of a few minutes ago. Thinking about them would only spark his ignition and want to _fuck _her – _yes, fuck her and only her_ – harder.

Then, he leaned down, kissing her lips ardently.


	8. potty training

One shot of japril going though the terrible two with their daughter and trying to potty train her!

…

"Chloe, don't you want to be a big girl? Big girls use the potty. Big girls don't use diapers anymore." April kneeled on the floor next to her youngest daughter and played with the hem of Chloe's cute yellow dress. She'd been trying to teach the two year how to use the potty for the past week and a half without any success.

"No!"

"Look, Ella already uses the potty. She likes it. She's a big girl now and so are you, honey." She continued, knowing that little Chloe looked up to her big sister, trying to convince her that if Ella did it, so could she.

"NO!"

"Let's just give a try, okay?"

"Noo!" The little girl screamed, running as fast as her little feet allowed her from the bathroom.

"Chloe!" April stood up and followed the toddler, praying silently for some patience. "Chloe, come back."

"Still no luck?" Jackson asked when she reappeared in the living room with Chloe running in front of her.

"I've tried, Jackson. I can't do it. She doesn't want to do it." She replied, almost too desperate to keep it together. "I've been trying and trying and nothing. I read her books about using the potty, I show her how Ella does it, I even show her how I do it… how big girls do it and nothing."

"Calm down. She'll eventually learn." Jackson said, watching as his youngest daughter sat on the floor, on top of the carper, to play with her sister. "We did it with Ella and she learned."

"It was easier with Ella. Chloe is being stubborn. I don't know what do to anymore."

"Well, every child is different. Plus, Chloe just turned two. You know what that means, right?"

"Oh, don't remind me." The terrible two. How could she forget that the terrible two were just about to begin? All the temper tantrums, the bossing around, the making demands, the constant use of the word 'no', the small meltdowns… all those things and some more were about to begin in full force.

"But we've been doing well with Ella. Chloe will learn too." Jackson said, standing up from her seat and walking towards his wife. "Plus, we can't force her. You know that. Forcing her will only make things worse."

"I know. I'm just feeling frustrated."

Jackson stopped in front of her and took her hand, pulling her closer to give her a hug. "C'mon, babe."

"What were we thinking when we decided to have another baby?" She asked, placing her arms around his body. She didn't regret her children. She absolutely loved being a mother and there was no better reward than watching her daughters grow up as the beautiful, smart girls they were. However, there was no denying that being a mother was the hardest job in the world. The best job, but the hardest without a doubt. "It's hard enough having one. Now two…"

Jackson smiled and placed a kiss on her forehead. "We'll survive!"


	9. bubble bath

Jackson stepped inside their apartment after a long day of work. Luckily, he was able to leave earlier that day. He knew April was already home. So, when he shut the front door, he called for her.

"April!"

"Hey! You're home early." April shouted from their bedroom.

"Yeah, I managed to get things done and leave work earlier today." He replied, putting his bag down and taking off his shoes and his jacket, leaving it on a chair by the kitchen counter.

"I just thought you were not going to be home for another hour, but that's okay."

"Why do I feel like you're disappointed I'm home?" Jackson asked, running his eyes through the mail placed on top of the kitchen counter.

"I'm not. I just thought I was going to have some time before you got home."

"Time for what?"

"You know? Some 'me time'. Every girl needs some 'me time'!" April said, entering the living room and walking towards the kitchen. "By the way, what do you for dinner?"

When Jackson looked up, he stared at her with his eyes wide open. Her hair was in a messy bun on the top of her head, her face without any traces of make-up and her body was wrapped around a short white towel and nothing else.

"I thought that since you were coming home later I had a little more time to figure out what I was going to cook, but since you're here now, you can tell me what you want." April continued, not noticing the surprised look on his face. "I was thinking about making lasagna, but…"

He stopped listening to her and watched closely as she walked across the room like walking around wearing nothing but a towel was the most natural thing in the world. What was she doing before he got home and what was she planning on doing? And why was she naked?

"Let's see what we have in the fridge, because the lasagna is going to take too long and I'm tired." She went on, not paying attention to him.

When she reached the fridge, Jackson could not take his eyes off her legs. The way the towel covered just enough of her behind was starting to make him drool. He couldn't stop wondering why she was walking around the house almost naked and acting like there was nothing strange with it.

"April?"

"What?"

"Why are you only wearing a towel?" He said after cleared his throat. "What's going on?"

April turned around and shut the door of the fridge, looking at him for the first time. "Oh, I'm going to take a bubble bath." She said. "I was just filling up the tub when you got home. It's still filling."

"Wait a minute? A bubble bath?"

"Yes."

"Is this part of your 'me time'?"

"Hum, yeah." She replied, realizing his surprise. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Let me see if I get this straight…" He said, standing up and making his way towards her. "When I stay at the hospital, when you think I'm going to be home late, you have your so called 'me time' and you take bubble baths? Bubble baths all by yourself?"

"Yes, Jackson. I do. What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing, but why don't you wait for me?" He asked, approaching her with a daring look on his face. "We could take bubble baths together."

"Because when I take bubble baths by myself I actually take the time to enjoy a bubble bath and relax… If you know what I mean!" She replied, knowing all too well that when they took long baths together, they started doing other activities different than what people are supposed to do while taking baths. "I have time to close my eyes and just enjoy."

"Enjoy?" He said, touching the hem of her towel, sneaking his hand under it.

"Jackson…"

"What? I'm not saying anything." He wasn't saying anything, but he was definitely thinking about it. "Are you sure you don't want me to join you today? I could rub your back!"

"I don't need your help to rub my back!"

"Well then I could help you with other things." He continued to tease her, running his hand up her thighs, resting it on her behind. "Hum? What do you say about that?"

She bit her lip, enjoying his touch. "Well, considering you're already home."

"Is that a yes?"

"Maybe."

He couldn't hide the grin on his face. He wasn't the bubble bath kind of guy, but taking a long bath with his wife was something he would never say no to. Quickly picking her up from the ground, he carried her inside the bathroom, decided to prove her that when he joined her in her bubble baths, they were much more enjoyable.

AN:

I forgot to mention that most of these drabbles are requests from tumblr.


	10. queen b

Request: Maybe a prompt about japril in high school / college / medical school ? PS.: Please keep writing your prompt's they're amazing love every single one

…

April tied her hair into a ponytail, fixing it on top of her head. Walking towards the field, she realized that the football team was already training. The cheerleaders were not having the space all to themselves today.

She spotted her friends in their perfect shiny cheerleader outfits, standing next to the bleachers warming up. She was five minutes late, but since she was the captain of the cheerleader team, she knew that the practice wouldn't start without her. Thankfully Mrs Geller, their cheerleading coach, was late too.

"Oh April, I'm glad you're here." Her friend Ava said, with an enthusiastic tone in her voice. "I think Josh Taylor is going to ask me to Homecoming."

"Really?" April asked, knowing how Ava had been obsessing about the Homecoming dance for weeks. "How do you know that? Did he say something?"

"No, I heard from Melissa, who heard from Mackenzie, who heard from Kate that Josh Taylor and Stacey broke up and that he is planning on inviting me to Homecoming now." Ava replied, without being able to contain her excitement.

"Oh my gosh! Really? You're so lucky. Josh's a total hottie."

"I know, right! I can't wait!" Ava went on. Then she leaned down to speak with a low tone. "I also heard that Flynn is so pissed that you refused to be his date."

"Oh please! What was he expecting? I wouldn't be his date now or in a thousand years!" April replied. "He already asked me like three times and I keep saying no, but it seems like he doesn't get it! It's like he's dumb or something."

"He's not exactly bright. So you might have a point."

"I'm not too worried about it though."

"But what if you don't find a date?" Ava asked, with a concerned look on her face. "We're only two weeks away from the dance and you don't have a date yet."

"I'm not worried."

"I know, but still." Ava went on, almost whispering, like what she was saying was a heresy. April Kepner could not go to the dance all by herself. The world would be upside down and all the laws of the Universe would be wrong if April Kepner went to the dannd all the laws of the Universe would be wrong i er outfits, standing next to the bleachers warmice alone. "Honey, you can't go alone to the dance. All eyes are going to be on you and people can be so judgmental."

"Ava, don't you think I know that?" April said, thinking to herself that she was not going to show her friend or anyone else her true feelings about not having a date to the dance yet. Of course she was worried, but her standards were high. Not every guy deserved having her as his date. "Plus, I was already asked by a few different boys…I just feel like I deserve better, you know. I'm not gonna settle. But I don't think I'm gonna have a problem finding a date. I'm April Kepner!"

Being April Kepner meant being on the top of the high school hierarchy; meant that everywhere she went, heads turned; everything she wore, was a fashion trend the next day; everything she said, was interpreted in a special kind of way; and boys… every boy wanted to have a piece of her. She was April Kepner, queen B, the ruler of the high school society, the 'it' girl of the moment.

Just as Ava was about to say something, April was knocked to the floor, being pushed by one of the players. "Hey!" She screamed as he fell on top of her. "Oh my gosh, get off!"

He looked at her for a second, but quickly stood on his feet. April immediately grabbed her ankle in pain. "Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not okay, you idiot." April replied, looking at her ankle as the pain increased. "It hurts!"

"I'm sorry. I was after the ball and…"

"Well, you obviously should be looking at where you're going, dumbass. My ankle hurts, it's getting swollen and it's because you…" She said, looking up and catching his eyes for the first time. She didn't know the guy. She never saw him around the school before. "Who are you?"

"Jackson Avery." She raised her eyebrows still clueless, so he continued. "I transferred here from the East a couple days ago."

"Jackson Avery?" She repeated, trying to memorize his name since his face was something she was not going to forget any time soon. "And you're…"

"The new quarterback." He replied, smiling. "This is actually my first practice. I'm sorry about the ankle. I swear I didn't see you."

"It's okay." April said, looking back to her foot. "It hurts tough."

"Yeah, you should probably put ice on it." He said, moving his hands to her ankle without thinking about it. "It's not looking good."

"Oh no. I have cheerleading practice. I can't leave…"

"You won't even be able to walk. Look at your ankle!"

"I know, but I…"

"C'mon!" He said, holding her hand to help her stand up.

April tried to stand up but the pain was excruciating. She couldn't even move. "No, no, no… Stop!"

"Does it hurt that bad?"

"No!" She lied, but he had her already figured out.

"I'm gonna…" He said, placing one arm on her back and the other under her legs. "Lift you up and take you to the infirmary. You need to put ice on…"

"What? No. Stop it." She cut him off, as he lifted her up and started carrying her. "Put me down, I can walk!"

"Huh, huh!"

"I mean it. Put me down or I swear…"

"People told me girls here were feisty, but you…" He said, thinking it was for the best if he didn't finish the sentence. "I'm just trying to help you, you know?"

"I don't need your help."

"That's not what it looks like."

"Well, if you just put me down I could show you that…"

"What's your name, by the way?"

She stopped kicking and took a deep breath. "April Kepner. Why?"

"Nice to meet you, April Kepner." He said, smiling. "Now, if you let me take you down to the infirmary, that'd be really nice."

She looked at him and finally gave up, holding her arms around his neck. He yelled something to the field and then turned to her again. Maybe she was right. Her standards were high and thank goodness she didn't accept going to the dance with any of the other guys, because she might as well just found her date.


	11. sex strike

PROMPT REQUEST: japril are trying to have another baby. April gets upset because Jackson won't have sex with her because he feel like it become just about making a baby and the intimacy gone. They fight and then make love!

…

"Jackson, are you ready?" April asked, entering their bedroom and shutting the door behind her.

"Hum?"

"The girls are asleep now. Are you ready?" She went on, tacking off her pajama pants, leaving them on the bedroom floor and climbing on top of him.

"April, what are you doing?"

"Sex. What else would I be doing?" She sat on top of him and straddled him against the bed. Then, she moved her hands to the hem of his shirt and started rolling it up his chest. "Take off your shirt. Quickly."

"What?" She didn't give him space to say anything else, quickly removing his shirt despite his protests. "April?"

"C'mon, we've got time now. Let's just do it."

"Do you think it works like that? It doesn't." He said, when her hands moved to his pajama pants. "You don't get to say the word and I'm instantly ready to… you know what."

"Oh please, Jackson." She said with a sarcastic tone. "I know you and it kinda does work like that."

"We're not having sex right now." He said, placing his hands on top of hers to stop her from removing his pants as well.

"What?"

"We're not having sex. I don't want to. Not like this at least."

"Jackson?"

"No, I'm not your sex toy." He continued, feeling as frustrated as ever. "I'm not… I want to have sex with you and I love having sex with you, but not like this."

"Jackson, we talked about this. We agreed that we wanted another child. I don't understand what you're…"

"I want another child, just not like this." Jackson cut her off, sick of feeling like she was only using him for sex. She wanted a baby, they both did, but having sex only to make a baby was proving to be too much for him. "I feel like lately it's all about the thought of making a baby… it's all about the sex. And you want to do it fast… like really fast."

"Because we barely have time to be alone now."

"Well, I don't like it." He said, with a slight irritation in his voice. "April, I have feelings. I'm not just a sex toy. I'm not a baby maker machine…I'm not a sperm donor."

"I never said you were."

"You act like I am." Jackson went on. "We've been trying to make another baby and the sex is great, _as always_, but you don't take the time to be with me, you know?"

"No. What do you mean?"

"I mean, there's no intimacy. You don't take the time to kiss me properly or let me kiss you. I don't touch you anymore… I don't have time to touch, because you want do it so quickly. You're so eager to have another baby that you forget about us."

"We're always so busy. I just thought that it would be easier if we get things done and…"

"Get things done? Who are you and what have you done with my wife?" He asked, not recognizing the woman standing on top of him. She was not like this. Usually she liked to do it slowly, she enjoyed taking her time because it led to a more powerful orgasm. When she was aroused, he knew she felt more pleasure. So, she liked it when he took the time to explore her body and make love to her slowly.

"Jackson, c'mon. Don't be like this. I'm just being practical."

"Gosh, I feel like we're back to that point in our relationship when we only had sex in on-call rooms, you know… quickies or something." He said, rolling his eyes, thinking about those days and how far they had come. He was not going back and right now he was going to give her an ultimatum. It had to stop. "That's it…I'm not having sex with you."

"What?"

"I'm not having sex with you. Not like this." Jackson went on, placing his hands on her waist, trying to move her body. "Not if you want to do it like this."

"Jackson?"

"I'm not."

"Baby! Baby, please… no, no, no…" She quickly said, holding on to him, not allowing him to move her to the side. "Look, I'm sorry, okay. I never meant to make you feel like I was only using you for sex. Okay? I'm sorry."

"I'm on a strike. A sex strike."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Okay, well…" She said, placing one hand on his face, caressing his cheek with her thumb. "What if we do it the right way?"

"No. I'm not having sex with you."

"Oh, not even if I do this…" April continued, leaning down and placing her lips on his cheek, kissing it. "Or this…" She said, slowly moving her mouth to his neck, where she began to leave a trace of wet kisses behind. "Huh?"

"No, not even if you do…that." He said, closing his eyes, knowing that she had him right where she wanted.

"And what about if I keep doing this…"April went on. Her mouth travelling to his chest, while she started rocking herself against him. "No?"

"Hum, no." He whispered, trying not give himself away that soon. "I'm not having…"

"You're not having sex with me, I know." She said, kissing her way down his chest. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm…" He didn't even had the strength to finish his sentence when her tongue started licking his nipple. "April…"

She smiled when she heard his soft moan. "Still no sex for me tonight?" April playfully asked, feeling how the way she kept rocking herself against him was starting to have an effect on him.

"No."

"No?" She asked after stopping licking his nipple. "Okay."

He looked at her as she took off her shirt, exposing her bare breast to him. Then, she climbed off him, lying on his side.

"I wanted to have sex… try to make a baby, but now…" She said, with a teasing tone. "…now I'm really feeling hot. But since you don't to have sex with me, I guess I'm gonna have to play with myself then."

He quickly lift up his head, smiling, sure that she would never _play_ with herself right next to him just like that.

"What?" She asked, noticing his grin.

"Playing alone is not as fun, you know?" Jackson said, placing one hand on the side of her waist.

"But you're on strike!"

"Well…" He said, before leaning down and catching her lips. The strike was over.


	12. daddy's girl

Prompt request: April finding Jackson at home one evening with baby on his chest both father and child asleep. Baby's got daddy wrapped around her/her little finger. Thanks!

…

She had never been more desperate to get home. She never thought going out would be so painful, but Jackson insisted and she thought that having a girls night out with Arizona would be good for her. It was good, but not good enough. She missed her baby the whole evening and even though she was having fun with her friend, she couldn't focus on anything else but her baby girl and her husband at home.

Now, walking through the door of their apartment, she felt a sense of relief. She was home and the peacefulness of the place was a good sign that nothing bad happened while she was out. She knew Jackson was perfectly capable of taking care of their baby all by himself, but she was a mother now. She worried even when she didn't have any reason to.

The noticed how she living room lights were still on and so was the TV. However, Jackson was nowhere to be found.

Putting down her bag on the kitchen counter and taking off her jacket, she couldn't help but wonder where he was. It was still early _- 11.30 pm was relatively early -_ and she knew he would be up waiting for her to come home. Plus, he wouldn't leave the TV on and go to sleep.

Instinctively, she made her way to the nursery, not even bothering to check their bedroom or any other rooms. For some reason she knew he would be there.

She slowly opened the door, expecting to see Ella crying or Jackson going crazy in between diapers or bottles. However, the quietness of the room surprised her and proved her she was wrong.

The room was dark - the baby night light was the only thing lightening up the room – and there he was, sitting on the rocking chair, with his eyes closed and Ella placed on his chest. It was such a perfect image that April found herself beaming with joy at that sight.

Ella was four months old now and so, so beautiful. April didn't know how much love she could feel for one human being before Ella was born. But now, that tiny little girl was everything and her heart was filled with an astonishing happiness every time she thought about her or held her or kissed her. Everything changed when she was born… things changed for better. Now life was completely and Ella was the missing piece that now completed the puzzle.

Looking at her little family, she couldn't help but to thank God for their little miracle. Ella was their little miracle, a miracle they both created, a miracle that grew inside of her and that she carried. Her heart already belonged to that little girl.

Then she noticed the way Jackson was holding on to Ella's tiny body as she slept peacefully and how her small hand was firmly wrapped around his finger. It was such an adorable sight. The content look on her the baby's face made it seem like she knew her daddy was her safe haven. April loved the relationship those two were starting to create. She loved how Ella's eyes light up when she saw Jackson walking through the door after a long day without seeing him. Ella always gave him her biggest most expressive smile. It was clear she found pleasure in his arms, when he held her, because she would always move her arms and legs around, paying attention to his speech, gazing into his face, answering to his voice with gleeful sounds. Ella was a daddy's girl for sure… and Jackson was the best dad April could have asked God for.

She started walking across the room towards the pair, knowing that it was for the best if she woke Jackson up and helped him put Ella in her crib.

Kneeling down next to the chair, she slightly touched Jackson's arm, whispering a low '"Hey".

Jackson opened his sleepy eyes and greeted her with a shy smile. "You're home."

"I am." She retorted, rubbing his arm gently. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah… Ella was crying and I had to feed her." He replied, turning his attention to the half empty breast milk bottle she had pumped a few hours ago placed on top of a little table next to the chair. "I was helping her fall back to sleep, but I guess I fell asleep too."

"It's okay. She loves falling asleep in your arms." She said, knowing how Ella always fell asleep faster in the warmth of Jackson's arms and how it had always been that way. She used to tease him by joking he was a 'baby whisperer'.

"But how was your night? Did you have fun?"

"I did, but I missed you guys." April replied, placing one kiss on Ella's hand, the one she had wrapped around Jackson's finger. "I missed my baby."

"She missed you." Jackson said, thinking that Ella wasn't the only one missing April that night. He missed her too. This was the first time in months she went out without him and he loved the little home routine they had created. Not having her around for an entire evening was something he didn't enjoy, but he knew it was good for her to go out and have some fun.

"Wanna go to bed?"

Jackson nodded and started getting up, doing his best not to wake Ella up. Then, after placing one tender kiss on top of her head and tucking her in her crib, he turned to April and grabbed her hand. She followed him out of the room, happy to be home with her two loves, knowing that she would rather spend her time with them than with anybody else in the world, pleased with the picture perfect moment she found them sharing.

...

AN: Most of these chapters are prompt requests from tumblr. You can find me at **aprilkepner-greys**


	13. bubble bath - part II

Due to popular demand, I decided to write a part 2 to the 'bubble bath' one shot.

Enjoy!

**RATED M**

...

"That actually feels really good."

"I told you I'd be helpful." Jackson said, moving a sponge from behind her neck, down to her left shoulder.

"And this turned out to be a great idea actually." A few minutes ago he walked in on her only wearing a towel. Now, here they were… in the bathtub, surrounded by vanilla candles and soft bubbles. April was sitting in between Jackson's legs, her back leaning against his torso, their legs tangled together and Jackson's hand holding a sponge, massaging April's body gently.

"Coming from the one who wanted to have a bubble bath all by herself…" He teased her, placing his free hand on her waist.

"You know?" She said, resting her head on his chest, as his hand made its way down her arm. "I'm actually glad you went home earlier today."

"I'm glad I did too." Jackson said, dropping the sponge in the water to get it wet again, only to move his hand across her collarbone. "Now, the real question is…what exactly do you do when you have bubble baths all by yourself?"

"Oh, you know… I turn on my iPod, put on some music, close my eyes." She replied. "I clear my mind and don't think about anything else…"

"Not even about me?"

April turned her head slightly to face him. He had a grin on his lips, looking at her like he knew her secret, like he already knew the answer to that question. She thought about him. Not in the most innocent way, but she did think of him. "Well, sometimes I think about you."

"And?" He said, moving his hand down her chest, letting the sponge caress her breasts.

"And… nothing! I just think about you."

"What? You're not going to tell me?" He asked, but she simply shook her head. They had been married for over a month now and she still had some issues talking about her own intimacy, which was typical, but he wanted to let her know that she could trust him, that she could share with him even her dirtier little secrets… even the most intimate ones. So, he placed one tender kiss on her shoulder and went on, decided to share details of his own most intimate moments. "You know, sometimes I think about you when I'm in the shower."

"Jackson?"

"What? I do. I think about how much I wished you were there with me." He said, realizing how she was starting to blush and thinking she looked super adorable when that happened. "I think about you naked there with me."

"Oh, don't start saying things like…"

"Sometimes I think about the many, many times we have sex in the shower." Jackson continued, not allowing her to finish her sentence. His hand, the one he was using to hold the sponge kept going further down, making its way in between her breasts. "I think about how I hold you against the wall and you wrap your legs around me and how the water keeps falling down on top of us."

"Jackson…"

"I think about how you like to say my name…" He went on, moving his lips at the same time to her neck, kissing it right behind her ear. "…you like to scream my name when I'm inside of you, don't you baby?" Jackson kept saying in between kisses. He lost the sponge along the way, while his fingers started playing with her nipple, squeezing it softly, gently enough not to hurt her. "And then when you start feeling like your legs are going to bend and break from all the pleasure, you usually hold on tighter to me.

"Hum…" April mumbled, biting her lower lip. She found herself closing her eyes, enjoying his touch, thinking about how much she loved having sex with him in the shower.

"I really, really love the way your skin glows with the water and the way your wet hair drips on your back." He continued, moving the hand he had rested on her waist down her side, making his way down her leg. "I think about you in the most obscene way. I think about your body and the way you feel inside…" Jackson whispered against her ear. "Oh babe, the way you feel inside and the way I feel when I'm inside of you… it drives me crazy. When I think about you, I have to… you know… _play_ all by myself."

"Jackson! Oh my gosh!"

"It doesn't feel as good though. I like it better when your hand is wrapped around me… around my erection. Your hand is so soft. And when you touch me with your hand… or when you go down on me, when your lips are on my erection, when you start moving them up and down… It feels really, really good. And when I think about all that when I'm in the shower." He said, letting his head drop and rest on her shoulder. "I feel so hot, babe. You make me feel so hot." Jackson knew he was being bold with his statements. It was the first time he was telling her he masturbated thinking about her. However, he didn't mind telling her all that. After all, she was the reason he needed to _play_ with himself when she wasn't there with him. "I have to do it when you're not home, when I'm all alone… when all I want is to be inside of you or feel you on me. I have to pretend you're there with me." Jackson continued, placing a trace of butterfly kisses up her neck. "I'm going crazy just thinking about it. It makes me wish I was inside of you right now…"

"I think about you too." She suddenly cut him off. The way he was speaking to her, so close against her ear, was enough to drive _her _crazy. She knew he was decided to drive her crazy.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. In my bubble baths… I think about you too."

"How?"

"I'm not telling you that, Jackson." April replied, too embarrassed to tell him about her own little fantasies. "That's kinda private."

"That's not fair. I told you how I think about you in the shower." Jackson replied, moving his hand in circles around her breast. "You don't have to be shy, April."

"I'm not being shy. I'm just…" Then, all of sudden, out of the blue, she felt his hand touch her center. April stop speaking, not able to focus on what she wanted to say. All she heard was his voice once again against her ear. 'Is your hand here when you think of me?' She could simply nod her head and mumble a small "Maybe…"

"So, your hand is here, right?" Jackson smiled when she nodded again. Then, he started moving his hand, massaging her center slowly, very slowly. "Where's your mind?"

"Hum… My mind…" She felt her body tense up at his touch for a second. The April she knew a year ago would never tell him this things or anyone else for that matter. The April she used to know would rather die than tell anyone what she thought about when she fantasized about a man, because fantasizing about men was a sin, it was wrong, it was forbidden. But the April she used to be was far gone and the April she was now, the April he, her husband, helped her discover within herself was not afraid of using the touch of her hand and fantasizing about a man… her man. So, she gulped and letting herself be led by his touch, she decided to put her modesty to the side and let her mind flow. "I…I close my eyes and my imagination takes over." She started, as his fingers played with her erect nipple. "Then, I find myself thinking about you, about your touch…"

Jackson started moving his other hand, moving his fingers and squeezing the fold of skin around her clitoris. He wasn't directly touching the clitoris but by playing with the skin around it, she felt the pressure and he knew how good it made her feel.

April started feeling her body get looser. Grabbing the sides of his legs, she opened hers to let him have more space to work with. "I think about your hand and how light your touch is." She went on, as he worked his magic in slow movements.

"You think about my touch? Like this?" Jackson asked, noticing how she spread her legs wide open.

"Huh, huh." She nodded, looking for some support on his legs, grabbing them tightly. "The water is warm and the bubbles around me smell so good…"

Jackson was using an absolute minimum of pressure on her clitoris, but she was starting to feel the vibrations on her center. "Yes? What else?" He spoke in a low tone, moving his hand in between her legs, letting two fingers rub her sweet spot side to side.

She adjusted her position, tilting her head back, allowing him to bury his nose in her neck. "And hum… I let the water move around me and my body..." April said, as Jackson's hand kept touching her breast, almost clutching it. "I let my body go and I start feeling really loose."

Gradually increasing the pressure, he started teasing her, brushing his fingers against the clitoris. Then, he kissed her neck, slowly and patiently.

"I think about your taste, your breath on my skin, your hands touching me, moving up and down my body and hum…" April continued, feeling more aroused than ever. "I think about your tongue… lips, your lips…"

"My lips kissing you?"

"Your lips kissing my skin so softly…. Just the way I like it." She replied, her heart started beating faster. "And hum… well, I think about you naked. And when I think about you naked I just can't control myself."

Jackson smiled against her skin, decided that it was time to kill her with pleasure. He had been studying her for the past month. He knew her body, he knew what she needed, what she liked and what she wanted. So, slowly dragging his hand down her center, he started making circles with one finger just at the edge of the vaginal opening, stroking inside the vagina using his fingertip.

April almost jumped at his touch, moaning deeply. He enjoyed seeing her like that… without being able to control her own body, her actions or her desires.

"I would say that you're wet, but considering the circumstances…" He joked, noticing that her inner vaginal lips had swell, but she didn't even reply.

Jackson then placed his fingers against her soft spot, rubbing it in circular movements. The mood changed and April started moaning, not able to hold back the waves of pleasure running up and down her body. The mood had changed and the tension between them raised. She was hungry for more and he was willing to give her more.

"Jackson…" She whispered, as he legs spread apart even more and her pelvis tilted up with his touch.

She was so sensitive at that point that he was afraid that if he kept rubbing his fingers against her clitoris, she might come apart. However, he kept moving, never stopping, only applying more and more pressure by the second.

April had to lift her arm up and hold on to the hand he was using to caress her nipples, helping him touch her, almost guiding him.

He could feel his erection rise by only watching her like that. She was completely lost in him, in his touch. Jackson speeded and strengthened the movements as the excitement around the room started to build up. April screamed his name in the sound of a moan full of pleasure. Her sensations were increasing as the muscles on her legs started to tense up. "Faster…" She begged and he could only comply.

Jackson knew her whole body was about to burst with an orgasm. He had watched her before, touched her and played with her clitoris before. It was the most sensitive and delicate part of her anatomy and the one he loved playing with the most.

"Oh, Jackson…" The way she moaned his name in between breaths was enough to drive him over the edge. He loved it when she said his name like that. It drove him crazy every time. "Gosh… Oh… don't stop."

"I'm right here, baby!" He whispered, feeling her body tremble against him as her back started to arch. She was close… so close.

"Jacks…" She moaned, without even being able to complete what she was about to say. Her orgasm hit her suddenly, but steadily. A wave of pleasure made her spasm and hold on to his hand firmly as the most euphoric feeling made her feel like she was entering heaven.

He didn't stop touching her right away, allowing her to finish completely and come back to earth. Pleased with himself, he placed one kiss on her temple.

After taking a moment to catch her breath, she finally opened her eyes. Then, turning her face to the side, she caught his lips. "Thank you." She said against his mouth. He shook his head and told her that she had nothing to be thankful for. However, she knew she had to thank him… and not only for the orgasm she had just experienced. She had thank him for being there for her, for teaching her how to let all her inhibitions go away and for making her feel like she could go into places where she could go out of control. He had taught her that loving herself or touching herself was not as immoral as she thought it was and that seeing the beauty in her own body was definitely not a sin. And yes… when she took her long bubble baths alone, she thought about him and touched herself, pleasuring herself with him on her mind. They still had a long way to go when it came to intimacy, but one thing she knew for sure... no one had the ability to make her feel at ease with her own body like he did.

Turning around, still feeling her legs a little shaky, she wrapped her legs around his waist. He stared at her with a curious look on his face. Then, grabbing the sponge he used a few minutes ago, she started _cleaning_ him, giving him small pecks on the lips. April could feel his growing erection below her and now it was her turn to give him everything. She just needed to tease him a bit first… tease him just like she loved to.

Jackson placed one hand on her waist and made her come closer. She was already on top of him at that point and she could feel the tip of his erection on her entering. He was so aroused and hungry for her that when he bent down to catch her breast and suck her nipple, she thought he was going to devour her with his mouth.

While he sucked her nipple, she let her head fall back, enjoying the sensation. His tongue started circling her nipple and his teeth were lightly biting it. He was so careful that even when he was hungrier for her, he could never hurt her.

However, she needed to kiss his lips, to meet his taste. So, dropping the sponge on the water, she cupped his face, making him look up at her. Then, she opened her mouth, kissing him filled of desire.

He moved his hands to her butt, squeezing her cheeks and pulling her closer. He wanted her ardently and kissing her passionately was not enough at that point.

Without breaking the kiss, April lifted up her pelvis. He kept pulling her closer and she could not escape him at that point. She knew he needed her, just like she needed him a few minutes ago. So, placing her hands on his shoulders, she broke the kiss. Staring at his eyes all she could see was the animal in him and all the physical desire he had for her. His erection was hitting her right at her entrance and making him wait was only making him want her more.

He looked more desperate than ever, almost feeling like if he waited another second, he was not going to be able to contain himself. Moving his hands back to her waist, he helped her position herself on top of him.

She started moving, allowing his erection to go deeply inside her. But she moved slowly, almost too painfully slowly. He wished he could had her all at once and finish her with yet another orgasm.

Her stare was focused on him, desperate to give back, to humbly give herself to him just like he gave himself to her not so long ago. A moan escaped from his lips when he was fully inside of her. Finally feeling a little bit of release, Jackson closed his eyes,

After a second, April started moving up and down, letting his full length complete her. This was for him, she wanted to pleasure him, but she knew he wouldn't be happy if she didn't enjoy herself as well. However, she didn't have to force it… a sweet flood of pleasure started growing inside.

Jackson tried to open his eyes, fighting the urge to keep them closed. He wanted to see her and watch her as she ride him up and down. He noticed how the messy bun she was sporting on the top of her head was starting to get loose and fall off as their movements increased. Her breasts bounced as she moved and he could not help but to let out a loud '_fuck_' as the pleasure started to consume him.

His name fell from her lips again as she rocked against him. He was heavy breathing at that point and with his hands still on her waist, he let his head fall down and allowed himself to close his eyes again. "April…" He said with a husky voice, but somehow she knew that he had nothing else to add. He simply wanted to say her name out loud, perpetuating the feeling, the sensation, knowing that A_pril, _his wife, was the woman allowing him to feel what he was feeling.

He had to remind himself not to rush things, because this was about the both of them. He wanted her to find pleasure too. So, he fought his urge to make her moved faster, deeper, harder. If she was taking her time, so would he.

However, almost reading his thoughts, she started thrusting faster, finding the support she needed in his shoulders, craving her nails on his skin. Their bodies were moving perfectly synchronized, perfectly aligned… almost as if they were one.

Her eyes closed as well as his name kept falling from her lips. That was it. She was close again and she knew that he was too.

Jackson tried to think about her for a second, since he knew he was not going to last longer. He said her name again. _April. _It was a sound that came from the inside of his being. His April… it was his April.

He could feel her inner muscles tighten around him, her hands firmly placed on his shoulders as soft moans kept coming out of her mouth. If only he could go any deeper, he would. But he already had his full length inside of her.

And then he felt her body shake once again and heard her screaming his name loudly this time. He knew she had her moment, another orgasm hit her and so, after thinking to himself that her timing couldn't have been better, he let his own orgasm consume him as well.

When they both finished, they were both fighting to catch their breath. April opened her eyes, slowly, still enjoying the pleasure of having him inside of her. She moved her hands, placing them on his face, making him open his eyes too and look at her. Then, smiling, she kissed his lips, truly glad he left work and went home earlier that day.


	14. colors

_At Bailey's wedding_

He looks at her across the room. There she is, sitting with another man, trying to fake a smile, trying to pretend she's enjoying herself when in fact he knows she isn't and he knows the reason why.

It's because this is wrong. All of this arrangement is wrong, because he wished he could be here with her instead. He knows she feels the same way. But he is stubborn and so is she… and that's why they found themselves in this situation.

He keeps staring at her without even trying to conceal it. She looks more beautiful than ever. Her hair is pulled back, she's wearing a tight, long gown, a simple necklace touching her collarbone. Oh, how much he wishes he could kiss her collarbone right now.

She's wearing green. He loves that color. It symbolizes growth, harmony, freshness and safety. It suits her well. But even though he loves seeing her in green, he knows that that's not her color. Her color is red.

Red is the color of blood, the one he feels pumping through his veins a millions times an hour whenever he's near her; Red like the color of war and danger, like the dangerous fascination he has for her. Red like the color that best describes power and strength, because she's stronger than anyone knows… anyone, but him. Red is the most intense color there is. Intense… like their toxic love affair. She is toxic, making him lose his mind in all sorts of ways. She is a hybrid mix of love and torture, because he feels like he is always in need of another dose of his drug of choice: her. He was never satisfied. He wanted more. He always needed more… and not in an innocent way. He needed her in the most erotic form of all. But their love affair was a sin. It was a sin, but he felt sinless. It was a mistake, but he never felt like a rebel. It was a risky play, but he loved the game.

Their color was red… Red because that's the color of love, passion and desire. It all happened so suddenly, so fast. When he least expected it, he had already fallen. Without even thinking about it, she caught him in her net and there was nothing he could do but to be consumed by his burning passion. In the end, he knew… Loving her was red.

Looking at her now he couldn't help but to feel blue. He misses her. He misses everything about her… that's why he feels blue. Because he feels empty inside, because there's a dark blue cloud above him not letting the sun shine down on him. He feels sad and this kind of sadness could only be cured by her touch. It sounds so simple and he feels so selfish, because if every diseased men could have a simple way of being cured, then the world would be such a better place. But it's not simple and neither are they.

His suit is black. Black is the color of grief. He's grieving his loss, because he lost her in the most reckless way. The truth was he loved her recklessly as well and now that everything was crashed into pieces, he wished he could've dealt with things differently. But he didn't and he lost her… perhaps forever. He lost her as a lover, but also as his best friend and there is nothing he can do to have her back.

If he can't have her, then he should be able to let her go, to forget her. 'Gray', he thinks. He should be feeling gray, because gray is an unemotional color. It's neutral, detached, it's neither black nor white… it's an 'in between' color, just like he feels right now. He feels in between, because he wants her back, but he also needs to forget her in order to move on with his life.

His mind goes back to red. Ironically enough her lips are red. If he could kiss her one last time, he knew that things would be alright. If only they could start all over again, without the mistakes of the past, without the fear, without the pressure, he knew that things would be white…. Like a blank canvas, where they could write a new beginning.


	15. daddy and ella's day out

PROMPT: Jackson spends that day with his little girl. Daddy's little girl!

…

"Okay, baby, you can eat your waffles now." Jackson said, after cutting his daughter's waffles. They were sitting at a diner now, eating waffles, spending the rest of their father/daughter day together. April was pregnant again, with twins this time, and he wanted to spend as much time as he could with their oldest daughters before all the madness. Today was Ella's day.

"Humm, they're yummy!" Ella exclaimed after taking a big bite. "I love waffles, daddy."

"I love them too, honey." He replied, trying his as well. "You know, I learned to love them with grandma. She loves waffles as well."

"With grandma Catherine?"

"Yep." Jackson replied. "She loves waffles and when I was a little kid, right about your age, she used to take me out and we'd have waffles at a place near out house. That's why I started loving waffles so much."

"Then I guess I'm just like you daddy." Ella said, with her mouth full.

"How come?"

"Because I love waffles so much too."

Jackson smiled. It felt incredibly good to hear her say something like that. But Ella was like that… she'd always come up with the cutest things and the bond they both shared was indescribable. She was definitely a daddy's girl. "So, are you enjoying our day together so far?"

"I'm loving it."

"What was your favorite part?"

"The zoo." She enthusiastically said, almost jumping from her seat.

"Yeah? Did you love seeing all the animals?"

"Huh huh…" Ella nodded, leading another piece of her waffle into her mouth. "I mean, I liked some of them. I didn't like the snakes."

"Yeah, I didn't like those very much either." Jackson said, remembering how his usually brave girl almost jumped his leg when they walked through the reptile section. "What were the animals you liked the most?"

"Hum… I liked the Giraffes and the Elephants and those little ones, the Mirkeets!"

"The what?"

"The Mirkeets… you know, the little ones. The ones I told you that look like rats."

"Oh the Meerkats."

"Yes, those. I loved those too." Ella continued. "And hum… I also liked the red pandas, because they have a pretty color and they look so fluffy and cute."

"Well, you've got to tell about all the things you learned about those animals to mommy and Chloe when we get home."

"I will. I will tell them that they like to eat bamboo, grasses, roots and leaves and that some of them like to eat fruit too." She said, thinking about all the things Jackson told her when they saw the animals. "Oh and that Giraffes are so big that they can reach the trees."

"They're very tall, aren't' they?"

"They are. They're my favorite." Ella said, swallowing the piece of waffle she had her in her mouth and reaching for the milkshake in front of her. "What's your favorite animal, daddy?"

"Hum… I liked the lions." He replied, helping her take a sip from her drink without making a mess.

"The lions? But daddy, they're mean. They go after the other animals."

"Well, they're not mean. They're just stronger." Jackson replied. They already had this conversation at the zoo when Ella said they looked like big cats and he told her they were a little different from regular cats. After that, she kept asking a bunch of questions about lions, being impressed by their strength and the fact that they ate other animals. "Plus, I already told you that they only go after the other animals because they need to eat, they need food."

"But the other animals don't go after other animals. That's why the lions are so mean."

"That's because they eat different things." Jackson continued, already regretting telling her all these things about the wild life. "Some animals like eating leaves and bamboo, while others eat meat."

"Yeah, I guess…" She said, not too convinced about it. Ella was used to being with animals - at least farm animals - whenever they visited April's parents at the farm, but seeing wild, exotic animals in person was a first for her today.

"But don't worry about it, honey." Jackson went on. "We bought a book about lions today. We can read it together tonight."

Ella quickly moved her head to face him and with the most expressive eyes, she turned to him and said "Well, you have to read the book, daddy, because I can't read yet."

"That's right." He replied grinning from ear to ear. She always had the smartest remarks. "Daddy will read it to you and Chloe tonight."

"Do you think she's gonna like the present we got her?" Ella asked, turning her attention to the gif bag placed on the floor next to her.

"I think Chloe is going to love it. And mommy will love hers as well."

"Good! I can't wait to go home and show them their presents."

"After we eat our waffles we can go home, alright?" Jackson said and she nodded, agreeing, probably too exhausted to do anything else

"What are the name of the people who treat animals?"

"The doctors who treat the animals?" He asked and she nodded again, grabbing her milkshake and drinking from the straw. "Veterinarians."

"You and mommy are doctors… but you don't treat animals?"

"No, we don't treat animals. Why, honey?"

"Well, I think I want to be a doctor too."

"Of animals?"

"No, of people…" She replied, looking at him again with her big eyes, so similar to his, and smiled. "… just like you, daddy."


	16. everybody knows

Could you write a drabble with Japril at home during episode 10.14? They cuddling on the couch or cooking or whatever you want ;) Thank you!

...

_The balcony… at night._

"Now everybody knows." She says, feeling his presence behind her. He steps closer, resting his arms around her waist and he placing one tender kiss on the back of her head.

Their secret is out. Their little marriage bubble has popped. They are now out in the open, exposed once again to the stares, the whispers and to the nasty gossip of their co-workers. Their love was once again exposed to the vultures, to the predators waiting around for them to come out only to break them to pieces with their way of showing their hatred opinions.

She didn't like feeling this exposed nor being the center of attention for the worst reasons. For a moment she thinks it would be better if they could hide their love forever, if they could live in their perfect little bubble forever. And then her mind goes back to the fact that they didn't do anything wrong, that they love each other and to the fact that two people who love each other should be together despite everybody else's opinions.

"It's going to be alright." He tells her, holding her tighter. Her back to his chest, his arms wrapped around her waist, her hands on top of his. "We're going to be alright."

She chooses to believe him, since there's nothing else she can do. After all, they deserve to be happy, even if it means going back to hell… just like they did in the past, when things fell apart and they broke up. However, this time she knows she is going to be fine, because she has him and she doesn't have to go through whatever they are about to go through alone. No, now she has him… and she has him forever.

She looks up at the firmament above. The sky is unusually bright, she can barely see the stars. But that's the city life after all, so different than where she comes from. She can't wait to take Jackson to the farm, in Moline, to show him how bright the stars really shine, to make him lie on the grass at night and inhale the fresh air of the country side, to make him take a moment to appreciate the greatness of the universe, to tell him that the stars are not just simple massive, luminous spheres of plasma held together by their own gravity and that the universe is not just their graveyard.

Thinking about all the things she wants to do with him, she smiles, because she knows she's going to spend the rest of her days with him, because she knows she has all the time in the world to do all those things with him. She doesn't have to rush things or be afraid they might come apart once again. No, she knows that from the moment they took their vows in secret, they were forever tied to their promise.

"April…" She hears him say. He's whispering in her ear, his deep tone making her shiver, waking her up from her daydreams. "…don't worry about what they're going to say about us or even do. Forget about them. No one knows what we feel, how much we love each other. No one knows what we had in the past… what we have now. Maybe they'll never understand, but that's their problem, not ours."

She feels his arms around her, holding her tightly and she can't help but to feel home. His arms are her home. She found out that there was no better place to be but in his arms. She loves this little moments, when they can hide from the rest of the world, take a deep breath, walk hand in hand to the balcony and feel the rush of the city stop for a while. It's just the two of them, holding each other, standing still for a moment, appreciating each other's presence, each other's warmth.

"Aren't you afraid of what people are going to say?" She asks, remembering all the bad things people said about them when she ran out of the barn, with him by the hand and the biggest smile on her face, leaving a broken man behind and all her dreams of a different life with him.

He shakes his head and buries his nose on back of her head, inhaling the cherry scent of her shampoo. "No." He simply replies, decided to be strong for her… for the both of them. "We already went through so much and we fought against it. I don't think some nasty looks and remarks can put us down. We'll fight them too." He is right. They will fight them, like they fought before, because fighting for their love is worth it. "Plus, now we don't have to hide anymore."

They are newlyweds, still in the honeymoon state, still walking on cloud nine, more in love than ever. They shouldn't have to hide their love from people. They should be able to celebrate it in public. "You're right." She says, touching his hand, playing with Jackson's wedding ring. "It's better off this way. We couldn't hide forever."

"Nor did I want to."

She knew he was dying to tell the world she was his wife. She wanted to be his wife in public too. She just didn't know if she was ready for the storm heading their way after the announcement. However, she knows she has to be ready. There is no turning back now. It is definitely better off this way.


	17. Jackson's first 'sex talk'

Prompt: Japril giving their child the sex talk

"Jackson, can you do Chloe's hair while I help Ella get dressed?" April asked, entering the twins' bedroom with their daughter by the hand. They were in a rush because they had to take the girls to their ballet class.

"Sure." He replied, putting his son on the changing table and unbuttoning his pants. "I'm just changing Jordan and then I'll take care of her hair."

"Thanks!"

"Come here, honey." Jackson said, smiling to Chloe, who walked towards him with her brush and elastic bands in her hands.

"You have to do it like mommy does it." She told him. "I like it really tight on top of my head."

"I'll try, honey." April told him how to fix his daughter's hair, but he was still developing his skills. Making a ballerina bun was not an easy task. "We just need to take care of Jordan first. Then, we can do your hair. Is that alright?"

"Yeah."

"Are you excited about ballet classes?" Jackson asked, starting to take off Jordan's diaper. "You're going to be a swan this year at the recital. Isn't that exciting?"

Chloe didn't reply. Instead, she started giggling, hiding her laugh in between her hands. "Daddy…"

"What, honey?" He asked, wondering why she was giggling so hard.

"Hum…What's that?" She asked, pointing to her brother's genitals.

Jackson looked at her little finger, then at his boy, then at Chloe. Even though she seemed a little embarrassed, she had the most curious look on her face. Then it hit him that this was probably the first time she saw him changing Jordan… that this was the first time she ever saw a penis. "That…" Jackson started, knowing he had to explain it to her in the simplest way possible. "… is a penis."

"A penis?"

"Yes, a penis." He continued. It was weird hearing his three year old say the word penis, but he knew it was for the best to teach her the right terms and names for things. She was still very young, he didn't want her to feel like sex was an off limits topic or something to be embarrassed about. "A boy has a penis and a girl has a vagina. You're a girl, you have a vagina. Jordan is a boy, he has a penis.

"I don't have a penis?"

"No, you have a vagina." He replied, putting Jordan's diaper to the side and reaching for the wipes. "Like mommy and Ella and Violet. Girls have vaginas and boys have penises."

"But why does it look different?"

He didn't even know why it looked different. That question never crossed his mind before and it took him completely by surprise. What was he supposed to say? He couldn't say he didn't know though. So, the first thing that came to his mind was God. Somehow and for no apparent reason, he found the answer in God. "Remember what you learned in Sunday school, at church, about God and how He created all things?" He asked and she nodded. "Well, God created male and female bodies different."

She watched carefully as Jackson wiped Jordan, but he knew she was still not fully convinced. "But why?"

"Because when He created boys and girls, He wanted them to make babies together." Jackson replied, trying his best to maintain his cool, trying not to freak out over the fact that he was having his first sex talk to one of his kids. "When a mommy and a daddy get married and when they love each other so much, they have… hum…private time… and they make love." He looked over to his daughter and saw her expression, more interested than ever in what he was telling her. They already taught the girls that mommy and daddy sometimes have 'private times' when they're alone when they found out April was pregnant with the twins. "And when God created male and female bodies, he made them to fit together like a puzzle."

"Okay…" She nodded, handing Jackson the clean diaper placed on top of the changing table next to Jordan. "Is that how babies are made?"

"Yes. You see, daddy is a boy and mommy is a girl. So daddy has a penis and mommy has a vagina." Jackson continued. "Because of that, when daddy makes love to mommy, the penis and the vagina fit together."

"Oh, okay." Chloe said, staying quiet for a minute.

He knew she was trying to process the information, trying to understand it. She was a smart little girl, always in desperate need to know more, to understand things, to ask questions. He didn't mind answering her questions and explaining her things the best way he could. He actually loved the fact that she was a curious child and that she brought him her questions.

"But mommy said that daddy planted a seed inside her tummy."

"She did, because that's true." He replied, thinking about the conversation they had when April was pregnant with the twins. "When the daddy's penis goes inside mommy's vagina, it puts a seed inside the mommy so that the baby can grow."

"So they look different so they can fit and make babies?"

He gave her a reassuring smile and nodded. "Yes, honey. That's God plan, why He made us different."

She stayed in silence as Jackson finished putting on Jordan's diaper. He could almost hear her little mind working, thinking. He was trying to understand too why he went to God for an answer. He could've talked about anatomy, science, nature. However, he talked about God and His plan. He chose to talk about creation – something he was so reluctant to believe in.

April took the girls to church since they were born and he went along because this was their family. But he never expected to find answers in things he didn't believe in and he didn't quite understand why he did it this time.

"So when a mommy and a daddy love each other, they make babies." Chloe said, as Jackson buttoned up Jordan's pants. "That's why they're different."

"Yes, honey. That's why they're different. To fit together, to make babies together." He replied. "But only when a mommy and a daddy love each other so much."

"Okay…"

"But that's a very good question, Chloe." Jackson said, trying to reassure her she could always come to him with her questions and doubts. He wanted to let her know that any of her questions were dumb. They were important and he would always be there to answer them.

"Daddy…" Chloe said, after a while, turning her attention back to the brush in her hand. "Can you do my hair now?" She asked, much to his surprise.

Smiling down at her, he bent down and placed one kiss on the top of her head. "Of course, baby. I'll do your hair now."

That was the beauty of being three. She asked, she got an answer, she understood the point, she changed the subject and now… now he had to make the perfect ballerina bun.


	18. Superman

PROMPT REQUEST: Please do a Halloween one shot! Jackson could be a superhero and have daddy written on the cape!

…

Jackson entered the bedroom looking for April. He had spent the past thirty minutes helping Chloe and Ella get dressed in their Halloween costumes while April got dressed in her own. He was used to Halloween by now. They started taking Ella trick or treat the Halloween after her birth. She was too little, but April was super excited and he decided to go along. Now, four years later and with another little girl, he knew that Halloween was a big deal in their house and that there was no escaping it. He didn't mind though. He loved seeing his girls happy.

He found April in their bedroom's bathroom, fixing her make-up, finishing putting mascara on. "Wow…" He exclaimed looking at her, leaning on the bathroom door frame, arms crossed against his chest. "Look at you!"

"You like it?" She asked, noticing the grin on his face. The truth was she chose the costume thinking about him. She wanted to feel sexy this time. She wanted to feel attractive. At the same time, she didn't want to step over the thin line between being tastefully sexy and plain inappropriate. Plus, she was going out with the kids, she was going to be surrounded by kids all night. "It isn't too short, right?"

"No. It's perfect." He replied, moving from where he was standing to hug her from behind. "You look like the perfect Super Woman."

"Thanks." April smiled, feeling his hands on her waistline pulling her closer to his chest. Looking at their reflection in the mirror, she couldn't help but think that they were a handsome couple indeed. Even after all those years, two kids later, she looked good and so did he.

"I know now we got to take the kids out, but later…" Jackson buried his nose on her neck, moving her perfectly made curls to the side. "… we can actually put this little outfit to use and you can be _my_ Super Woman."

"Umm." She moaned when his lips touched her soft skin, placing a tender long kiss on her neck. "I think that's a pretty good idea."

"I know. I only have good ideas."

"Well, we can think about it later, because now we have to take the girls out and…" She found herself closing her eyes when his lips planted another kiss on her neck, his hands moving to her front, resting on her flat stomach, his fingers grabbing the thin fabric of her red and blue costume. "… Jackson, not right now. We have to take the girls to the…"

"I know. I know." He whispered, brushing his unshaved face on the softness of her skin. "I'm just giving you a little taste of what's coming, 'cause this outfit is driving me crazy, babe."

"Mommy!" They heard Ella's voice echo through the room, making April quickly open her eyes and Jackson take a step back, letting her go. "Mommy, look at me. I'm a princess."

April walked into the bedroom to find her four year old dressed in her purple dress, just like Rapunzel. "Oh, honey! You look so good… so pretty."

"Daddy said that too. I'm a princess, mommy… look." She enthusiastically said, pointing to the tiara she insisted on wearing.

"You are. My sweet little princess." April said, bending down and placing one kiss on her forehead. "Where's Chloe? I want to see her too."

"She's watching TV." Ella replied, taking April by the hand into the living room. "She's not a princess. Chloe is a ladybug."

"I know, honey. She told me she didn't want to be a princess this year." Chloe was a princess last year and she hated it. She could barely walk in her dress and Jackson had to carry her most of the night anyways. She and Ella couldn't be more different. Ella was the princess of the family and she loved showing her princess dresses around. "Ladybugs are pretty. So I bet she looks pretty too."

"You look so pretty too, mommy."

"Thank you!" She said, turning her face slightly to the side to see Jackson's smirk. He was walking right behind them and she could swear he was checking out her legs without any shame. "Chloe, show mommy your costume." April said, when she saw her youngest child, sitting on the couch in her little ladybug outfit, too focused on the cartoons playing on the TV to even notice their presence.

April sat on the couch next to her and picked her up, sitting her on her lap, placing a kiss on her forehead as well. "You look so cute, baby."

"I'm a bug!"

"You are!" April said, fixing the antennas on her head. "You're my baby ladybug!"

"What about you, daddy?" Ella asked, standing next to Jackson and looking up at him. "What are you?"

"Daddy's gonna be Superman." April replied before he could say anything. "I forgot to tell, Jackson, but I got you an outfit this year."

"No. No, no… Daddy's not going to get dressed, Ella." He said, shaking his head, quickly noticing the disappointed look on his daughter's face. "Daddy doesn't like getting dressed for Halloween."

"But you never get dressed." She pouted.

"Jackson, c'mon, I got you a costume and everything." April said. She knew he didn't like dressing up, but when she found her Super Woman costume, she found a Superman one as well. Thinking they would look like the perfect couple, she got it for him. And yes, maybe she forgot to tell him on purpose, because she knew he was going to shut her idea down before even trying to put the outfit on. But she got it anyways, hoping that if the girls asked, he'd wear it. "Please!"

"Hum… no. I don't do costumes."

"But, daddy… it's fun."

"Ella, daddy doesn't like to wear…"

"Pleeease!" She said, putting her green eyes to use and staring at him with the most deceitful cute eyes.

"You know what, Ella?" April said, standing up from the couch leaving Chloe there, watching cartoons. "Let's show daddy his outfit. He's going to like it."

"No, I'm not… I'm not going to wear it, so don't even bother."

"C'mon!" April went on, taking Jackson's hand and leading him back to the bedroom. "I think you're gonna like it."

"April, I'm not going to wear a stupid Halloween costume. I'm not going to make a fool of myself."

"You won't make a fool out of yourself." She replied. "It's Halloween. No one cares."

"Well, I'm not the kind of person who dresses up."

"But daddy, everybody wears a costume." Ella intervened. "You have to wear one too."

"Ella, honey, daddy already told you that…"

"See it first and decide later." April cut him off. "It's Superman and it's so cute!"

"Cute? I'm not wearing anything 'cute'!"

"I didn't mean it like that."

"I'm not wearing a costume."

"But you're my Superman!" April said, entering the bedroom, letting go of his hand. Then she turned around to look for the costume inside the closet. "Plus, I think we're gonna look so good together. I'm Super Woman, you're Superman."

"Please, daddy!"

"No!" He insisted, sitting on the bed. There was no way he was going to put on a silly Superman costume. Halloween was definitely not his thing.

"But look…" April said, showing his the costume. "Isn't it cool?"

Jackson nodded. He was not going to wear it. Period. "April, please… don't make me do it."

"Daddy, it's so cool." Ella said, sitting next to him on the bed.

"It is." April retorted, stepping closer to where he was sitting, dying to see him try it on. "You're gonna look like the coolest dad… and husband. Please?" Jackson shook his head again. "I even put 'daddy' on the cape, look?"

He watched as she unrolled the red cape to show him the big blue letters that spelled 'Super Daddy'. She knew how to get him. The 'Super Daddy' was a cute idea, but how could he get out of the door wearing tight pants and a pair of underwear on top of them? Just as he was about to say 'no' one more time, he felt Ella's little hands cup his face, making him look directly into her green eyes.

"Dad, please put it on." She asked once more. "I promise I'm gonna be a good girl forever if you do. Please!"

"Jackson…" He heard April say. "Please, for the girls?"

He stared at Ella's eyes for a few long seconds. Then, taking a deep breath, he placed his own hands on top of hers. How could he say no to those cute little eyes? She knew she had him in the palm of her hand and he didn't stand a chance. "Fine." He replied. Ella instantly smiled and let out a loud 'Yes'. Then, he got up from the bed and walked towards April, taking the costume from her hands. "You owe me!" He said in a low tone.

"I promise I'll make it up for you later!"


	19. he stayed

_8x21 AU - He stayed_

"Okay, that was really great." He says, when she finally lies by his side.

"Yeah, yes, yes, yes… that was…"

"You were great. I mean…I mean, you…" She wasn't just great. For a first, she was more than great. Getting lost in his own words and memories of what just happened, he doesn't even find the strength to keep going. He wants to tell her so many things, but he just can't. Not right now, since he's trying to come off his high as well. Looking at the ceiling, he wonders what she's thinking. "You glad we did that?"

"Yeah. Yeah."

She's hesitates and he notices. Turning to his side, he rests his body on his elbow. Smiling, not able to hide his contentment, he looks down at her and she looks at him as well. "So, you're okay?" More than anything, he's worried about her. They crossed the line between friends and something more and it would be fine if she was any other girl, but she's not any other girl. She's his best friend… his pure and virginal friend.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just… tired."

He takes a deep breath, noticing that she quickly moved her head, moving her eyes away from his face. He wonders if she's somehow ashamed of what they did and perhaps she is. The shyness that describes her so well is back. She's avoiding his stare, but he can't take his eyes off of her. April pauses and an awkward silence fills the room. Then, after a second that seemed to last a year, she turns to him and says. "We should get some sleep."

"Yeah, we should get some sleep…" He says, letting his back hit the mattress again, making the bed shake. This feels weird and he doesn't know if this is right. After all, a few minutes ago they were nothing but just close friends. Now everything changed and the reality of the situation hits him for the first time. "Here or…?"

"Yeah…yeah. Or…" She replies in a low tone. "Or you could go… don't you have to get your pencil?"

"It's the middle of the night." The both giggle, probably trying to shake away the awkwardness of the moment.

"Right."

"Yeah… but you know what? I can go if you want." She doesn't say anything. Nodding her head, she's probably too confused to know what she wants at the moment. He doesn't know what he wants either. Leaving would be easy. Too easy, actually. He could go into his room, take a shower, close his eyes, try to forget what just happened… try to forget that he and his best friend just shared a moment of deep intimacy, that he took her virginity, that he touched her immaculate skin, that he kissed her innocent lips, only to find out there were not that innocent after all… that she was not that innocent after all. However, what's the point in trying to forget when he knows that he won't be able to. He won't be able to forget this moment, not now… not ever. How could he forget the moment he saw her naked figure for the first time? Or the way she moaned his name when his lips wandered through her pale skin? Or how she closed her eyes when he entered her, trying to fight the urge to scream, hopelessly trying to fight the urge to lose herself completely in him? Or how she spread her legs around his body, allowing him to go further? How could he forget the moment he started thrusting into her? When she craved her nails on his back, finding the support she needed on his muscles? Or the moment she suddenly asked to be on top, turning them around? He won't be able to forget the perfect vision of her bare breasts bouncing up and down with her movements or the way she tilted her head back when it started feeling really, really good. He won't be able to forget the moment she reached her orgasm… not did he want to. "April…" He whispers, turning his body to the side to face her. She moves her head a tiny bit and looks at him, but keeps her silence. "… Do you want me to go?"

She doesn't know what to reply. She wants him to leave so that she can have a moment to herself, to let the tears fall from her eyes and cry herself to sleep, letting the guilt consume her. However, at the same time, she wants him to stay. She wants bury all her guilt in another session of physical pleasure. She wants to have him again, getting lost in him again, getting lost in her sin again, because this… this is sweetest sin after all.

Jackson places one hand on her cheek, caressing it with his thumb. 'Gosh, she's beautiful', he thinks. For a girl who has never been loved before, she's beautiful… way too beautiful. How could he only be seeing it now?

He studies her face for a few long seconds, trying to read her. The blush on her cheeks is starting to go away and her breath is more controlled now. Then, he smiles and leans forward, catching her lips in one tender kiss. Her lips are soft and sweet and for some irrational reason he wants to keep kissing her. She doesn't deny the kiss and allows him to slowly move his tongue inside her mouth. Turning her around, their bodies are now pressed against each other and he moves his hand to her waist. She places one hand against his naked chest, feeling his strong muscles beneath it.

For a moment, Jackson feels like he has been doing this his whole life, kissing her his whole life. It feels natural, familiar, like her personal scent is something he has always known, like her lips are something he has been tasting all his life, like her body is no longer a mystery to him at all. It shouldn't feel this good, because they're friends and best friends don't kiss, don't share this kind of intimacy. Sex is supposed to be off limits between best friends… but it feels right.

And maybe he's just being a man, full of desire, seeing in her an easy way to find pleasure. But no. It can't be. Otherwise, it would be easy for him to leave and it's not. He wants to stay and wrap his arms around her and tell her that it's going to be okay… that they're going to be okay.

April breaks the kiss and bites her lip. He looks at her, wishing he could keep kissing her until his lips burn. "Stay." He hears her whisper.

"Are you sure?" Jackson politely asks. He wants to stay, but only if she wants him to stay as well. She doesn't reply. Instead, her legs move and she runs her hand up his chest, letting it rest on his neck. Placing her body on top of his, they find themselves in their original position.

She doesn't say much, but he can read it in her eyes. Knowing what she's thinking and desiring, he makes his hands travel to her sides. The hunger in her eyes is undeniable and she only tasted a little bit of it, now she wants more and he's willing to let her taste more of this sweet sin.

April leans towards him, kissing his passionately. Their tongues moving in a slow rhythm and he finds comfort when she starts rocking herself against him again, awaking all his senses.

Tomorrow they might realize that this was a mistake, that friends don't do things like this, that their friendship is ruined forever. He can help but to feel nervous about tomorrow and the consequences of his actions. But tomorrow is only tomorrow and tonight… tonight seems just perfect and he chooses to forget that tomorrow is coming soon.

He doesn't have to say anything else. He's staying.


	20. April's mom

PROMPT FOR 11x06 : Japril getting heated when her mum barges in

…

"She is driving me crazy."

"She is just trying to help." Jackson replied, watching as April got on the bed, sitting under the covers with her back against the headboard. "And you shouldn't have snapped at her."

"Can you be on my side? For once... can you be on my side?"

"April… c'mon, I'm on your side. I'm always on your side, but you're being ridiculous. She was just trying to help. She's…"

"Okay, fine! I get it! You _adore_ my mom… you think she's great!" She continued, moving her body to lie down on the bed next to him. Pulling the covers up to her chest, she felt his body shift and his hand travel to her stomach. "Now, do you wanna keep up with this conversation or do you want to end up sleeping on the couch tonight?"

"April, c'mon… don't be like this!"

"I'm sure your loving mother-in-law wouldn't mind making you the bed there… after all you have the _prettiest eyes_." She ironically said.

"Can you please not…" Jackson tried to pull closer, turning her body to the side so she could face him, but when she didn't move, his lips made their way to her neck, leaving a sweet trace of kisses on her skin.

"And how could you be talking to mom behind my back?" She tried to ignore him, but then his hand started going under her shirt. Feeling his touch, the way his hand traveled up her skin right under her breast was actually making her lose the point in this whole argument.

"It was for a surprise." Jackson replied, moving his body so he was now half on top of her. His mouth placing soft kisses on her neck, his elbow supporting his weight, his hand touching her breast lightly. "We thought you'd love it."

"Yeah, well… and you talk about your meddling mother!"

"I don't really want to think about my mom or your mom or any other mom for all that matter right now." Jackson said, not caring at all about their silly argument. No, his full attention was on her body and he knew she was just trying to pretend to still be mad at this point.

"I mean, you bought the whole store…everything… you bought everything without me."

"This again? Seriously? April…" He said, looking up at her, trying to win her with his green eyes. April looked back at him and shook her head. He knew she was disappointed she didn't get to have her first real moment as a new mom. She didn't even get to choose her baby's bottles and he had to admit that it was probably unfair for her. But he already apologized for that. There was no need to keep bringing the issue up. Especially when he was in the middle of_ something_. "Think of this way, shopping for our baby with your mom was actually a great way for us to bond. I'm so glad she doesn't… hate me for everything."

"Nobody hates you." April said, placing her hands on his face, caressing his cheeks with her thumbs.

"And it feels kinda nice to know that I'm part of your family too." He went on, leaning forward to kiss the top of her head. "I'm sorry, but… your mother and I, we were just trying to help. Okay?" She simply nodded and he knew it was his cue. Slowly lowering his head, he kissed her lips. April allowed him to taste her mouth, opening her lips to let his tongue wander inside, meeting him halfway. His hand was still inside her shirt, now playing with her nipple, circling it carefully with his thumb. He knew just how sensitive she was and when she softly moaned, he smiled against her lips.

April moved her hand to his shoulders, feeling his hard muscles underneath the fabric of his shirt. Completely forgetting they were not alone now, she moaned his name loudly when his hand travelled down her stomach, into her pajama pants.

They kept kissing, tasting each other, while Jackson's hand played gently with her center. It didn't take long for him to start feeling the wetness inside her panties, on his fingers.

She then moved her hands to his shirt, forcing him to take it off. He only took his hand off her panties to help her pull his shirt above his head. When it fell on the floor, he quickly placed his lips on hers again. However, the kiss didn't last long. April pushed his chest up, making him move on the bed, to lie on his back. Then, she positioned herself on top of him, with her legs spread open around his body, pressing herself against the bulge in his pants.

Jackson bite his lip, already undressing his wife with his eyes. This was a current position for them now, with her on top. He loved when she was on top, riding him hard and fast. Her figure from where he was lying was a vision he hope he never had to forget. Her pregnant belly and her fuller breast were enough reason to make him want to make love to her fast and now… now he really wanted her. So, he quickly reached for the hem of her shirt, lifting it up with her help.

When April threw her shirt over her head, she giggled with excitement. Then, suddenly they heard a knock on the door, followed by April's mother's voice. "Excuse me, honey…" She didn't wait for a reply, instead she opened the door, not even giving them time to change their positon. "…do you want…? Oh my Lord!"

"Crap!" Jackson said, quickly covering April's bare breasts with his hands the best way he could, while April screamed and placed her own hands on top of his.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt, I was just going to ask if you want some tea… I didn't mean to…" Her mother kept saying, lowering her eyes to the ground, while holding the door knob, trying to explain herself. "… Jesus, I'm so sorry!"

"Mom, leave!" April shouted. Embarrassed could not describe what she was feeling.

"I'm so sorry. I am truly sorry…" Her mom kept saying as she closed the door. "Oh goodness!"

When she left the room, Jackson noticed how red April's face was. Keeping his hands on her breasts, he watched as she let out a deep breath. Her body was shaking, but he couldn't contain his smile. She looked adorable.


	21. a blessed man

Prompt Request: Follow up to 10x24.

…

Jackson re-enters the room, fresh from the shower, wearing only a pair of boxers. The room in silent and April is sitting on the bed, under the covers. He walks to the edge of the bed, where he left his pajamas. Then, he looks at her. She seems lost in her own thoughts and he can tell by the look in her eyes that she's fighting to keep all her emotions down, probably fighting the urge to cry. "Hey, something's wrong?" He asks, putting on his pajama pants, noticing as she seems to suddenly be pulled back from the back of her mind.

April half smiles and shakes her head. Then, she looks up, lifts her arm and stretches her hand to reach him. "Come here." She says softly. He doesn't even think twice and climbs on the bed, crawling on top of the covers to her, not even bothered to put on his shirt. As he reaches for her, he grabs her warm hand.

Then, he finally pulls the covers and sits by her side in the bed and she moves her body, resting her back against his bare chest. "Is everything alright?" He asks and she nods, but he knows that she's not alright. 'I just needed to feel you.' He hears her say. Then, he places a kiss on the back of her head and whispers. "I'm right here." Today was supposed to be a happy day. They were supposed to start telling people about the miracle they both created, the miracle growing inside of her… their baby. Instead, all hell broke loose and what was supposed to be a happy day, turned out to be a day of pure chaos. He knows something happened earlier, but he doesn't know what exactly. She didn't tell him. All he knew was that his mother told him at dinner that he needed to take care of her, to be strong for his wife, to reassure her always that their baby would be fine. He didn't ask more and he knew she wouldn't tell him, but that was alright, because he would always be there for her no matter what.

He notices the open book in her lap. It only took a look for him to understand what it was. Her Bible. He found it curious that the pages and the verses were marked in different colors, as if she had been studying them carefully, marking the most important passages.

"I was reading while you were in the shower." She says, when she notices his stare. Picking up the book in her lap, she looks down at it again. "I was praying for protection."

"Protection?"

"Yes." She nods, almost losing herself again in the memories she has of that day. "After what happened today, I keep thinking about you… the baby… if anything happened to you, I don't know…" He places a protective arm around her and she takes her hand and rests it on top of his, intertwining her fingers with his. Wishing he could give her all the protection she desperately needs, he takes a deep breath and kisses her temple. "Wanna read it for me?" She asks, moving her head to the side to look at him. Seeing her sad eyes, he can't say no to her request. He reluctantly agrees, hoping that would be enough to give her some comfort. "Right here." She points to the page.

Taking the book from her hand, he clears his throat.

"_I lift up my eyes to the mountains. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." _He pauses, because this feels strange. He doesn't believe in any of this and maybe he should… for her, he should, because this is the God she goes to when she's sad, when she needs comfort and relief, when she needs to find some kind of security, when her heart is broken and she needs to put the pieces back together. Things would be so much easier if he could find a reason to believe in her God.

"_He will not let your foot slip. He, who watches over you, will not slumber. Indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep."_ April slowly moves her body, turning around to lie on his chest completely. Head close to his neck, arm resting around his stomach, leg in between his. He keeps his caring arm around her, moving his hand up and down her back.

"_The Lord watches over you. The Lord is your shade at your right hand. The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night." _Protection. This the reason why she was reading this… protection. Because if the Lord, her God, can protect their baby, then there is nothing that can harm him or her. Jackson looks down and April is slowly closing her eyes as well. She must be tired, completely overwhelmed by the emotions she went through earlier that day.

"_The Lord will keep you from all harm. He will watch over your life. The Lord will watch over your coming and going. Both now and forevermore." _He finishes reading the passage, noticing the pleased smile on her lips. In the middle of all the madness, when everything seems shallow and shattered, she trusts in this God. This is her truth and for a moment, despite all his beliefs, he chooses to believe this is his truth too.

"Beautiful. Isn't it?" She mumbles, moving her lips against his bare skin. He doesn't reply right away, nodding instead. "I've been praying and I know He's watching over us… over our baby."

Maybe He is watching over them. Jackson knows He isn't real, but for now it feels nice to believe He is and that He is watching over them, that He has a plan for them and that He is taking care of everything.

Maybe one day he will be able to see it like she does and understand her faith. Maybe one day, when he can finally hold his baby in his arms, he will be able to understand this great miracle that is life and see her God as the creator of it all. Maybe one day he will be able to see it in his baby.

Today was a special day for him somehow. He delivered a baby… someone else's baby, but he did it. He helped put a little human being in this world today. Watching as that baby cried in his arms, made him understand that he was going to be a dad soon enough. Somehow staring at that perfect little baby, he realized for the first time that the reality was he was going to have a baby too. His wife was truly expecting, his baby was growing inside of her, he helped create that tiny little thing and that soon enough their baby would be here. Thinking about it, he can't help but to feel blessed. He is blessed because he has her, because she is his wife, because she is carrying their perfect little miracle inside, because she is falling asleep in his arms and not in the arms of some other man, because they have each other.

It's hard for him to wrap his mind around the fact that her God is real, but he has to agree that he is a lucky man… a blessed man. He notices how her breath changes, how the rhythm of her beating heart changes as well. She's falling fast asleep and he knows life doesn't get better than this, because in this moment, she feels safe and he knows she feels save in his arms. His life changed the moment she decided to choose him. Now life was about to change forever because their baby was coming. However, he wouldn't want it any other way.

Moving his eyes back to the book he's holding in his hand, he can't help but to feel curious about it. Slowly turning the page, trying his best not to wake her, he lets the peace he in some way found while reading that Psalm take over him. "_I call on the Lord in my distress, and he answers me." _He keeps reading, unconsciously praying that He would be there, listening as he recited those verses with April and the baby in his mind. In the depth of his heart, he knows He is there, keeping them from all harm.


	22. our buddha boy

_Set after 11x08_

"A boy?"

She nods, with the brightest smile on her lips. He feels his body freeze instantly, his heart starts beating faster, a strike of pain hits him in the chest. How can this be happening? How can life be this cruel? This kind of cruelty should not be allowed and he feels like he can't find oxygen to breathe. She looks so happy. Her smile, the way she's glowing, the way her hand is placed gently on her baby bump… she has no clue of what's going on and he doesn't know what to do, because he has no clue either.

Stephanie's words echo in his mind. The reality of the situation and how serious it was still sinking in. He didn't expect any of it. And now he can't keep this secret from his wife. But how can he ruin her happiness? How can he possibly tell her they're going to lose their child? Their little precious baby is already condemned and there is nothing they can do to help… to save him.

This wasn't the plan. Their child wasn't planned either, but he loves his baby. How is he going to survive without his baby? How is she going to? How could they make it through after this? Why was life punishing them like this? It wasn't fair. It isn't fair.

He looks down to avoid her stare. It hurts too much seeing her smile like that. All her hopes and dreams are going to be crushed in a matter of moments and he wishes he could do something to ease her pain, but he's hurting too. He can only be there for her when she finds out. She has to find out from him though. He has to be strong for her, for the both of them and for their baby boy.

They are having a boy. A little boy. What was the use in all of this after all? Life isn't fair and he already knows that. However, he never thought he could experience this kind of agony. He never thought this could happen to them, to their baby. 'All of it just happens', he thinks of his own words. Well, this isn't supposed to be happening. 'All of it just happens' makes no sense right now.

They're having a baby boy, she is carrying their baby boy and he knows that their baby doesn't stand a chance. If only all the money in the world could buy a miracle! He'd give everything he has for a miracle. However, he knows that it doesn't work like that and all he can do is hold on to that hope… the hope that a miracle is going to happen, that a miracle is going to save their baby.

"Jackson…" He hears her say after a few minutes, with a sudden worried tone in her voice. How can he face her though? How can he tell her they might lose their baby boy? He just can't… he just can't. They are so excited about becoming parents, starting a family. How can he tell her all of that is about to be burned to the ground?

Fighting the tears formed in his eyes, he reluctantly looks up at her. A strong ache hits him and he feels his stomach drop to the floor. A big black hole is formed inside of him and he feels empty. He knows he's about to have a panic attack and has to control his breath in order to speak. Gulping, he clears his throat, but he doesn't know what to say. So, instead, he walks towards her and places his hands around her bump.

He knows his baby is right there. He can almost feel him. Closing his eyes for a second, he remembers his heartbeat, the one he heard so loudly and clear earlier that day through the ultrasound. And he wishes he could wake up from this nightmare. He won't though, because this is not a nightmare, this is real.

Opening his eyes again, he sees the puzzled look on her face. A single tear breaks through and slowly falls down his face. "April…" He can feel the bitterness in his words, in his voice. Life was supposed to be sweet though. Life was supposed to be better than ever. Life was supposed to be bright. However, all he can see is the darkness surround him fast.


End file.
